the blogger is "not" a big geek

This is clearly some derivative artwork from Magritte or Duchamp.  Except not quite as pure.  Thanks, Norm.

See more trash can art here.

Southie "time"

I have no idea what Southie "time" or Southie Time might mean, but evidently it's always going on.  Thanks, Eileen.

Not directly making you richer

Laura sent in this library notice from the LA library.  I wonder if there's another single quote somewhere that this guy is closing up for.  Also, I guess they want to point out it's enriching in the general sense, not the financial.  Or in the uranium sense.

Or so Paris Hilton said

Alex spotted this one in cleveland.  Obviously, the beef is chilled, but it's sexy.

or whatever preposition

Ryan spotted this on his way home from church.  Evidently, you can pretend to vote for it but actually vote against it also.  Secret ballot after all.

relevant PAN

a few people drew my attention to this.  I think the passive aggression is way better than the QMs, but they're alright.

Jason writes the following about this sign:

Immediately after snapping this picture, I realized the makers of the sign were using the quotation marks correctly. They said their convenience store was "upscale," which I think they intended to be a good thing, but upon entering, I understood the quotation marks usage. But then again, when have you ever seen anything spelled "Double Kwik" that truly was upscale?

I guess in conclusion, upscale=fancy, elaborate, rich, but "upscale"=we have a hotdog machine.

The last bit is my favorite.  Good work, Jason.

or so they say

Unless, of course, you are making a drop for our blackmail program, in which case, by all means, use cash.  Thanks, Jason.

Waiting for Bing

Adam writes, "I don't know which is funnier, the "Coming Soon" or the fact that what's coming soon is a Bing Crosby Piano bar!"  Agreed.  Maybe it's just there for conceptual humor, and never will actually come.

"tricks"

Adam saw this ad on myspace, which makes it even MORE sketchy.  Last I checked, meeting people isn't that "tricky" if you're not sleezy...

talking doorbell

It's like the doorbell is telling you to ring it.  Thanks, Melissa.

good nickname

Amanda spotted this one when her dad was in the hospital.  I don't usually give laundry hampers nicknames, but ok.  She suggests that it's a direct quote from the supervisor, and maybe they don't really need to be told.

use your "outside" voice

Anna's friend Jeremy saw this at McDonald's.  She suggests if you make your own big mac and bring it in, that's ok.  I wonder if indoor food is also acceptable.

More Seattle QMs

Many of my friends were in Seattle with me this weekend, faithfully searching for quotation marks.  Finally, three of them, Kristy, Dylan and David, spotted this one within view of our hotel!  Right at DPS parking, home of apathy.

Thanks to Jim, Dad and Brian for filling in for my during my trip.  It was great professionally and personally.

These drinks actually make you thirsty

Reg writes about his excellent adventure in getting this picture:

We'd been seeing this for weeks in the student union cafeteria and it boggled the mind, so I finally remembered to take a shot of it and promptly got yelled at by one of the cashiers. Whoops. Totally worth it though!

Thanks for risking your reputation to help our cause, Reg.

This is, of course, not the first drink-related sign we've found.

The "environment" eh?

Thanks to Ben for the picture of this box from his local pizzeria.

As much as I'm also concerned about our "environment" - whatever that is, I'm even more concerned about how I might carefully dispose of this box. Perhaps I could swaddle it in bubble wrap and put it in another box full of packing peanuts?

I'm sure Al Gore is twitching uncontrollably right now.

Who's in charge here?

Someone doesn't want you to drink. We're just not sure who that is. Thanks, Ryan.

Sundayish

Lizzie gives us a real puzzler.

The regular patrons know they really serve it on Wednesday night. They just put up that sign so they can laugh at people who ask for pozole on a Sunday.

I'm still wondering what the foshizzle is Pozole?

We be jammin'

Lizzie writes:

It must be jelly cause "jam" don't shake like that.

It's not just a printer, it's also a boom-box.

Floored

Amy sent this in and, while we can argue over whether this is really a floor mat (making the quotation marks actually necessary), I think we can all agree that using it was a really good idea.

Trash can, or performance art?

In all likelihood it's an indication that the owner of said trash can really doesn't care what you throw in there, but the period after "bottles" makes me see it as a transcription of a minimalist poetry reading.

I call this one... "Glass Bottles."

Thank U

*standing snapping ovation*

Thanks to Mike for the photo.

And welcome to our visitors from Boing Boing. Poke around a bit. Pay particular attention to the Hall of Fame on your right.

flying solo again

Gina writes:

Got one for you, if you want it. Saw this on an apartment front gate in the Outer Sunset neighborhood of San Francisco.

Maybe it's group therapy, maybe it's something else, hehe...

Now she's got me wondering what the bottom buzzer does. (yikes!)

half-baked ham

Kari sends this from the Convenient Food Mart in Elyria, OH. Maybe it is the questionable nature of the meat in question and how it has been prepared that makes it special.

Crash! Boom! Bang! Disrespect!

Make all the noise you want. Our neighbours already hate us.

Thanks to Richard from Cambridge, UK.

(Also note the period that should be a comma and the greengrocer's apostrophe. We have a real winner on our hands here.)

Reliable Triple Crown

This place has everything.

Reliable door

The arrow points to another door with exactly the same sign on it, but no arrow. From the looks of things, those service entrances have both been around a long time. Perhaps they are simply "improved" in some way.

more reliable

From the same "Reliable" shop comes this sign.

Apparently those "quality standards" weren't covered on punctuation day at marketing school.

But boy oh boy are the Available!!

Reliable... really?

I've snarked about this particular gem of an auto repair shop before, but for this long weekend, watch for the 4 recurring posts featuring several different signs from this "trustworthy" shop. I'll post them about every half hour to keep you "interested."

I imagine the marketing meeting for this sign went a little something like this:
"Hey, how about this for a slogan, 'Your car isn't reliable, so bring it here' - pretty great huh?"
"We can't fit all of that on the sign."
"OK, we'll figure out a way to shorten that up for you."

I understand they offer a complete "warranty".

So what happened?

Unnecessary quotation marks of the now: Phelan Building, floor 8
Originally uploaded by Omega it's jameth

Jameth posts this one from San Francisco.

Perhaps he can let us know what happened over that weekend. Was there actually a secret meeting going on? Did Monday ever come? Did Elvis leave the building? The public must know! Won't someone please think of the children?

No partner "necessary"

Zach sees this one every day when he goes swing dancing at the Chevy Chase Ballroom in DC. Too many quotation marks here to comment on all of them but I'd like to encourage all readers to try to say "Sunday Salsa Social" many times as quickly as possible.

Maybe R2D2 learned his stuff at this ballroom.

a "load" of what?

While I'm on the Seattle kick, here's one Charles saw there.  I think it's supposed to mark the pun - loaded with money AND excitement!  A bad pun though.

Seattle

A comment gave me this idea.  In honor of my trip, I thought I'd post links to some of my favorite posts from Seattle:

This car flier

the "best" breakfast

slices

"stop" rats

be nice to my friends

I'm going to a conference in Seattle this weekend, and I'll be staying at a fancy hotel where you have to pay for internet access (this is an element of hotels that I do not understand) so I asked some people I trust to make a few posts while I'm gone.  I leave tomorrow.  Be nice to them.

Let me introduce my substitutes:

Brian - Brian posts here sometimes. We were both heavily involved in the same church when I was in college.

Bob - this is my dad. I have known him about 25 years.

James - Jim is my boyfriend. I guess 2 years now. He's pretty funny, that's one reason I keep him around.

almost as cool as "invisibility" bra

In case you needed clarification: wearing bra does not actually allow you to levitate.  Thanks, nestdaisy.

maybe tomorrow

This is another one from Mariano in Argentina.  He translates it:

English teacher

prepare your future "today".

This is obviously directed at procrastinators.

"freshly baked"

Jerry saw this in Colchester, UK.  If you click to enlarge, you'll have an easier time reading the part about your choice of "freshly baked" bread. I must say, when I worked at subway we never served bread that was more than 24 hours old, but maybe they have higher standards for freshness in the UK...

don't really see it

Nieske saw this in a record store in Berkeley.  I have no idea what "see also goth" means, I'm guessing it's another band with Delerium members.  The italics, now really, what is that about?

fake address

Brittany spotted this one.  She suggests they were giving the building a nickname.

I love "disco"

Gemma writes, "St Davids is the smallest city in the UK. Which explains why they only have one "disco".

To be honest, I think anyone after a good time would be better off going to the Pembrokeshire Craftsmens Circle Exhibition."

I especially like the single quotes around 'tonight'.  What night is it?  Why single quotes instead of double quotes?

"no fooling"

Keith saw this on April 2, so I guess they were fooling about the today only thing.  Also, they are using an alternate definition of "dresses".

home is where the pork is

Andrew spotted this one in Memphis.  I guess it depends on your definition of "home"...

fake ham

Mark saw this one and suggests, with hope, that it is actually chicken.

that slogan makes no sense

Lissa goes to this place sometimes and clarifies that it is called Your Place and is a Family Restaurant.  On this particular sign, it appears that the restaurant is owned by the "your place family".  Weird last name.

more "free" stuff

so, wait, first are they free of anesthesia, or is anesthesia free of charge?  Either way, there appear to be exceptions.  Thanks, Abby.

My all-time favorite animal-related post here.

is it available or not?

Well, it's available for some people... Thanks, Kimberly.

Ok, Gretchen and I agree that the quotation marks are by no means the weirdest thing about this sign, but exactly whose restrooms are they?

I think what's more important is, why the ominous "women" sign?  Also, thanking you in advance?

spaced out nose

Jim spotted this one in Virginia.  Evidently not so watchful?  Watchful other body parts?

"fresh" juice

Submitter Ellie suggests that this carrot juice is squeezed daily, but not served until much later.  (I like the mental image of somebody hand-squeezing a carrot, too.)

fake number too

Kasey saw this in Vancouver, BC.  Evidently if they show up at all, the delivery is mad expensive.

seriously

This guy is no fun at all.

(Thanks, Jeff for the link)

yeah, "safety"

Peter sent me this.  Yeah, I know all about "crime prevention."

two slogans?

Sara writes, "I don't usually take photographs while I drive, but I had to make an exception for this double-quote ad on the back of a semi in Wisconsin".  It reads "No one Pays Faster" "immediate settlements when I want"

tough "customer"

Jim saw this in Marietta, PA at the post office.  Evidently, everything about "customer" appreciation day is slang.  (click to enlarge).

come on in

Erika spotted this one at the valet.  It seems that just anyone can go in there and retrieve some keys.  Awesome.