Thursday, May 31, 2012

build a "wrap"

I had no idea the definition of "wrap" was so restrictive. Thanks Poindexter.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Free "meal"

Get ready for some really excellent birthday peanut butter toast.

Thanks Ron.

wait, whose jeans?

I don't really understand what's happening here, but I think it has to do with this. Thanks Nick.

Monday, May 28, 2012

"no" longer "free"

Ok, some of this paper I guess still costs the same? That cost being "free"? Thanks Miles.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Or for... you...

Inga saw this in Berlin and says it translates to "Flowers for 'her.'" Clearly a shop for men who are actually just buying flowers for themselves. It's cool to like flowers, dudes.

(Editor's note: I'm doing a two-step cross-country move this summer. If posting becomes sporadic, please forgive me. I'll do my best to keep up and work ahead if I'll be without internet for a few days.)

Saturday, May 26, 2012

"American" or whatever

I had to look it up to see where John Wayne was born, but it looks like it's Iowa. Maybe he did something in his life to lead whoever made this statue to question his American bona fides. Thanks Isma.

Friday, May 25, 2012

"hot" oatmeal

I guess this oatmeal is more lukewarm. Thanks Joel.

Quotation marks: endorsed

Assuming that "City" Block is this guy's nickname, I not only believe these quotation marks are acceptable, but also that he has the greatest nickname, possibly, of all time. Thanks Jessica.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

"exceptional" office space

I think the relevant question is, the exception to what? Thanks Kenny.


I guess this air conditioner is a gift that keeps on taking. Thanks Stephanie.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Take "1"

Oh, you know, one-ish. Three if you're special. And you know YOU are special. Thanks Laura.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Open "slowly"

I believe this sign is meant to imply the following: please use an exaggerated slow-motion movement to open the door. Thanks William.

Dads like punctuation too

Another reminder for Father's day. The Book of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks makes a great gift! Now also available in Kindle edition.  If your dad already has a copy of my book, I made a pinboard with some other punctuation related gift ideas for your reference. Not all are appropriate for a dad, but some definitely are. Enjoy!

"Easter" "bread"

I didn't know that Easter bread without quotation marks was a thing. Maybe these folks made it up? Thanks Michael.

Monday, May 21, 2012

You know, the "bathroom"

I wouldn't leave your items anywhere, just to be safe. Thanks Elinor.

Maybe not you in particular

I mean, there's pretty thin parameters under which a person considers catching a catfish "being successful" so.... Thanks Benjamin.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Accidental theme day

So this one time, I got two photos in the same day with the word "please" in quotation marks and horses. So I had to post them both. Because horses hate sincere politeness. Thanks Robyn.

Fake polite horse

1) this horse has writing on his bum. 2) that writing includes fake politeness. That is all. Thanks Aurora.

Saturday, May 19, 2012

uh, ok

I can't even make a good joke about this, because I am so baffled. Thanks Andy.

Friday, May 18, 2012

"one" per "table"

Well, that is an unlikely deal for a sushi roll... Thanks Matson.

"Free Range" Pork

Yeah, check out "our farm" with the pigs running around. On the range! Those are the ones that are here. For sure. Thanks Sarah.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Fresh Baked "Bagels"

Ok, more like a roll with a hole in it. Thanks Lauren.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


Who knows when, where, or how big this garage sale is! Thanks Jordan.

It's the "best"

Submitter Justin explains: By "best," they mean most expensive.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

"It's Greet to me"

I really think the key here is they got the pun wrong, and I don't think it was on purpose. So that's fun. Thanks Katie.

order "fish and chips"

Since this sign is telling people to queue, I'm guessing it's really in the UK, but something else is a little off about the fish and chips. Thanks Richard.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

"Opening" soon

I guess their idea of "opening" might be different from yours. Thanks Jessica.


I guess they don't take these rules so seriously. But they have ten nonetheless. Thanks Eric.

Friday, May 11, 2012

"enjoy" them

I wonder who's multigrain pancakes these really are. Thanks Daryl.

get ready for sing-talking

This looks like a cd I would "enjoy." Thanks Chris.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

"Health Coach"

I don't think even Dr. Bazos takes this "Health Coach" thing all that seriously. Thanks Meredith.

"preventive care"

Pro tip: once you see a bug, you are no longer preventing their presence. Thanks Sarah.

Wednesday, May 09, 2012

Monday, May 07, 2012

"Womens" Volleyball

I guess they really won all volleyball. Thanks Helga.

"Save water"

I'm not sure what they really want you to do. Thanks Niko.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

In No Way Convenient

I get the sense that someone thinks this whole think is incredibly inconvenient. Thanks Jacqueline.

Thursday, May 03, 2012

The "money drop"

This place is definitely "only" for "use" as a "laundry." Thanks Carl.

Feigned patience good enough

Click to enlarge, the bumper sticker implores others to "be patient." I guess if you want to go all road rage, do so at your own risk. Thanks Michael.

Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Uh huh. "Free" you say.

Submitter Annalisa writes, "I don't know why but I'd be careful when going in to ask for details!!"

Your mom likes punctuation!

With mother's day approaching, I thought I'd remind you all that I made a punctuation-themed gift guide on pinterest.  I don't benefit from any of those sales, but if you want to click my affiliate links and get your mom a book based on this very blog, I might get some change out of the deal.

"friend of the youth"

I guess they are optimistic that some youths might want to be friends with them. Thanks Angie.

Tuesday, May 01, 2012

or, uh, use it at your own risk?

Yeah, we'd love to see you try to use this broken table for something. Why don't you line up some cream pies and banana peels? Thanks Vanessa.

"no sugar added"

1) Candy is made out of sugar, so what does it mean to not "add" any? 2) Who would want candy without sugar? Thanks Richard.