Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Allegedly for use?

Probably best to use these lights in a place that is neither indoors nor outdoors. I don't know, like a screened in porch. Thanks Matthew.

With bonus apostrophe

This is because, I assume, the writer prefers to call them submarines or grinders? Thanks Jack.

Monday, December 22, 2014

"Dark" Coffee

I guess the darkness of coffee is a figment of your imagination? Thanks Micah.

Allegedly "Scrumptious"

This is making me realize that "Scrumptious" doesn't mean much... Thanks Martin.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

"Diabetic Friendly"

I guess it's not really THAT friendly. Thanks Micah.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Fake McDonald's

Yeah, I'm gonna go with don't eat here. If the quotation marks don't get you, the health code violations might... Thanks Curtis.


The crab festival is really all the time.... in your heart. Thanks Bridget.

Sunday, December 14, 2014

Kids eat "Free"

Sorry kids, best learn now, no such thing as a free lunch. Thanks Rimpy.

Sounds legit

Maybe "Taste and quality" is a code for melted cheese? Actually that doesn't sound too bad. Thanks Jason.

Saturday, December 13, 2014

It is a "MUST"

I seriously thought "TARP" was an acronym. Maybe they're all acronyms? Thanks David.

We "Do Not" Accept refunds

(Click to enlarge) I wonder what kind of refunds they "do not" accept here. Thanks Pascal.

Monday, December 01, 2014

"Online Services"

I wonder if it's poor service or not really online? Thanks Duncan.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

Annual Gift Reminder

If somebody on your list might enjoy some punctuation-based humor this Christmas, here are some links to buy the book based on this blog from a few different online retailers. Thanks as always to my wonderful readers for visiting the site and sending me your amazing pictures.

"U.S. Mail"

Look out for this "mail" vehicle that is definitely not full of spies. Thanks Michael.

Sunday, November 23, 2014

"No" Parking

So, wait, can I park here? I think I should definitely park here. Thanks to The Nuclear Lion.

Saturday, November 22, 2014


I mean, we aren't saying that we are manufacturers, or that these woolens are "fine." We're just repeating what other people have said. Thanks Tim.

Tarte "Maurice"

Submitter Scott quips, "In Paris, labelling pseudo-homemade as such may be the law, for all I know. But I'm worried about the existential doubt surrounding Maurice."

Monday, November 17, 2014

Fake polite coffee

I guess "please" is a code for the insult they wanted to write. Thanks Georgian.

Sunday, November 16, 2014

For "Customers"

I guess you can use these if you pretend to be buying something. Thanks Kate.

Friday, November 14, 2014

"All Beers"

I guess just the beers they sell there, not, like, ALL the beers. Thanks Jonathan.

Yeah, that's safer

I mean, unless your fence comes with mind control, I feel like at least somebody is going to be all "don't tell me what to do!" so those quotation marks make it a little more... true. Thanks Greg.

If you say so

Dude, do you help people get real babies, or do you just give them a realistic doll and hope they don't notice? Thanks Tina.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

"Not a Fire Exit"

In the event of a fire, parse this punctuation! Thanks James.

Thursday, November 06, 2014

Sounds "Credible"

Terri got this postcard in the mail. I think we can all agree the photo is the best part of this, but I also like to believe that "Discussion Topics To Include" is a really terrible slogan, that they repeat for other events.

Wednesday, November 05, 2014

"American Express"

I guess they don't take fake credit cards. How dare they. Thanks Brett.

Friday, October 24, 2014

An optimist might say...

Also 50% on? Thanks David.

"Veggie" Burger

Oh man, this has me in an existential crisis about whether Quinoa is a veggie. Thanks Melissa.

"Scary" Indeed

Sue sent me a picture of her own halloween dish towels. Although, to be fair, I think I'd feel ok running into these in a dark alley.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Super Fun, everybody

So I wonder where you actually have to go for these activities? Thanks Mister Christer.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Fake Holiday

I guess this store is celebrating fake holidays now? Thanks Anabella.

"Open to the Public"

I guess it depends on your definition of Public? Thanks Justin.

Friday, October 17, 2014

Turn "Off" Lights

Just do whatever with the lights. Turn them. Somehow. Thanks Joanna.

Thursday, October 16, 2014


You know, I'd just avoid swallowing this one regardless of the ambiguity. Thanks Tom.


Ok, these punctuators knew exactly what they were doing, but I love it so I'm posting it. Thanks Lloyd.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

"Closed" you say?

I mean, obviously, open to cool people. Thanks Kevin.

Monday, October 13, 2014

Doors will be "Locked"

I guess they will mime locking them? Thanks Megan.

Sunday, October 12, 2014


I guess whoever made this sign thinks you might have another reason to be cautious. Thanks Bob.

Tuesday, October 07, 2014

"Fresh" Fillets

Well, I guess it's not flopping around. Thanks Andrew.

Monday, October 06, 2014

Thank You "Jesus"

I guess this thank you is just for whoever. Thanks Nancy.

Wednesday, October 01, 2014

"Basement Only"

I don't know man, this kind of looks like the ground level? Just put some quotation marks on there. Thanks David.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

It's "Strict"

They totally "enforce" this lock time. "Strictly." Thanks John.

Want "stress free"?

I'm guessing the implication here is that the source of Christmas stress is not the cooking? Thanks Owen.

"Turn Off" Fans

I guess if you, like, floss in front of them that'll do it. Thanks Sarah.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Quotation Marks in spain

Submitter Jim translates the above sign:


 I guess your children's health might be, like, third. Thanks Jim!

Made regular for you

It's made in the normal way. We didn't do anything creepy to your pizza. Probably. Thanks Jack.

"Linerbags" and stuff

Clearly, the "rubberband" is the most important fake thing in this note on a trashcan, but not the only fake or important thing. Thanks citizenjaq.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Please "Lock" "Door"

More bathroom codes or something. Mime locking near the door? Thanks Joy.

Not such a good deal?

I'm going to assume that first one is a really subtle reference to this. Thanks Douglas.

Pull "Gently"

You know, just grab that sucker however you want. Thanks Doug.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

"Stop" it

I guess this is some complex bathroom code, I have no idea what you're really supposed to do with toilet paper. Thanks Chris.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014


I wonder what fake Sundays this store is open on? Thanks Christopher.