the quotes go around the quotation, kids

I think the church janitor may have crossed the line when he decided his new nickname was "God." Thanks, Patrick.

if you insist on calling that thing a dog

More like a pig, amiright? Thanks, Angie.

keep doing that

I mean, if you were really thinking, you might avoid fast food. So thanks for pretend thinking. And thanks for sending this in, Darlene.

code words everywhere

I have no idea what it means to walk with an "old x-ray." It's probably code for some terrible punishment. Thanks, Kiron.

bagel code

I want to have a secret code in bagels, that sounds delicious. Thanks, Julie.

I see what's going on here

So "noon" means "whenever I show up at the store, how's 9ish?" Thanks, William.

in this life anyway

Is it just me, or do the quotation marks make this sign seem threatening? Thanks, Jason.

totally ordinary

Typical Mongolian Beef just doesn't sound that appetizing. Thanks, Jill.

as we call them

Really they are pinto beans and some food coloring. Thanks, Lisa.

said the wolf

Kristy spotted this outside a wolf's cage at the zoo. Either the wolf is being sarcastic, or this is an actual quotation from the wolf.

or your doppelganger

There is someone we value. It may or may not be you. Thanks, Jeremy.

someday

Oh man, non-events. They are so "fun." Thanks, Patrick.

if you call that candy

Nothing like something you can barely call candy. Maybe it's "healthy" or something. Thanks, Kiersten.

some "deal"

I guess it's not much of a deal. Thanks, Miklos.

west-south-west really

Aaron spotted this one at Portland State University. I guess the traffic is going west-ish.

Nickleback!!!

My favorite thing about this sign is the way the smiley face and three exclamation marks are included within the quotation marks. Because that kind of hand-written enthusiasm for Nickelback can't be sincere. Thanks Marianne and Katie.

something like food

Don't be fooled, this "food" is actually made in America. Thanks, Monica.

as they call it

I guess fake potty trained kids, totally cool. Thanks, David.

sneaky

Debra got it right when she wrote, "Talk about hidden fees!"

or is it?

I love the general syntax of this sign, and the way it is confusing and then made more confusing with ambiguous quotation marks. Thanks Karen and Krista!

depends on your definition of extra

I imagine they lowered the "normal" amount of cheese so that the new normal could be "extra." Thanks, Michael.

ONE scooter is ok

This place they call an "entrance," it is so confusing. People use it to exit all the time. Thanks, Crystal and Michael.

by now it's made it to slightly tacky

Jessie writes, "Perhaps the writer was acknowledging that the sign would be up long after the paint had dried. And then, there's the question of the arrow..." nothing like dry paint only where that arrow is pointing.

a day without labor

I don't know why the sarcasm about labor day, but there you have it. Thanks, Brittney.

warmish

Elizabeth spotted this in a London market. I guess there are various degrees of warmness. And spellings of pita.

slouching acceptable

I guess there are different rules for mall employees after hours. Thanks, Solmaz.

feign gentleness

Time for some pretending to be gentle when the clerk is looking at you. Thanks, Sean.

sure it's big

What size is your holiday sale? "Huge" you say? suuure. Thanks, Clay.

"look"

Hey. Listen. The real secret is listening. Thanks, Roseanna.

what's the REAL maximum

What if person 300 is pregnant? has multiple personalities? Is really skinny? Just wondering. Thanks Krystina.