get your projectiles here

So these are for throwing. Thanks, CMM.

not ALL orders

I think you know the kinds of "orders" you shouldn't bring to the bar... take those to the back room. Thanks, Meaghan.

If you call those restrooms

There's a couple of holes in the ground back there. You don't need a key. Thanks, Matt.

get yer knockoffs here

These boots weren't made in china at all! Thanks, Caitlin.

"wash it"

I guess pretending to wash it is good enough. Thanks Kayla.

yeah, that looks good

You guys, what our sign needed was just one punctuation mark, right there. This is perfect. Thanks, Rao.

again with the metaphors

You see, the internet is a series of tubes, and you can't.... Actually this is about art supplies, I have no idea what "dumping" is. Thanks, Allison.

it's not funny

Rimpy proposes two options here:

a) The play is actually a drama, but the theater is worried no one will pay to see anything but a comedy.

b) The play is supposed to be funny, but no one involved in the production finds it the least bit amusing.

you see, it's a metaphor

Maybe we can spell this out for you a little more.... Thanks, Amethyst.

"toilet" can't catch

And stop calling that guy "toilet." It's demeaning. Thanks, Britta.

"eggs" eh?

So I guess this is rocks made to look like eggs in some of these cartons. Thanks, Kyla.

love "quiet" things

I guess it's quiet compared to the noises your neighbors make. Thanks, Andrea.

looking for... people

My friend Julie spotted this at an ice cream store. I guess they are really looking for people to buy ice cream.

win a counterfeit bag!

I assume you actually get a duffle bag that somebody's soccer coach had. Thanks, Scott.

they're ok

I guess these waffle fries aren't that great. You know, that's how I feel about waffle fries in general. Sorry Chick-fil-a. Thanks, Jack.

we're calling it "lunch buffet"

I guess they are aware that they did not, in fact, invent the lunch buffet. Or buffett as the case may be. Thanks, MPR.

"air conditioned" eh?

I am trying to imagine fake air conditioning, like a fan blowing over a bowl of ice or something. Thanks, PJ.

this is where the cool stuff is

I guess if you're good at reading code, you know what you'll find back there. Thanks, Jake.

relatively sharp

Sharp enough to hurt you, not sharp enough to be useful? Thanks, Jana.

"pop" as you weirdos call it

This is obviously a soda guy in pop country. Thanks, MPR.

if you call that a hallway

I guess they'll clean your, um, entryways? mudrooms? grand halls? Thanks, Max.

from "europe"

Maybe they do these repairs in one of those tourist towns like Helen GA, kind of like europe, but in America! Thanks, Cassy.

you mean that wolf creature?

I'm guessing there's a particular "dog" that this is targeted too. I don't know about the opening quotes with no close. Maybe the one after dog is actually a close quote for the first one... Thanks, Gabe.

clean-ish

Our maids do a "good job" and are "totally sober" too. Thanks, Jonathan.

"hiring" eh?

I guess they are pretending to hire people, they might actually be looking for people to work for free. Thanks, Sara.

not a "gathering" as such

I guess pirates don't "gather" so much as they... uh... carouse? Thanks, Dennis.

fake garbage

I guess one person's trash is another person's treasure... Thanks Ann.

not so fast

Tomasz in the Netherlands explains, "Avocados from the supermarket Lidl. They were indeed a little too hard to eat. Incorrectly identifying quotation marks as unnecessary can be perilous."

"clearance"

I guess at 7 foot 8 inches the "clearance" gets a little sketchy. Or, erm, scratchy. Thanks, Bata.

not your real name

I am guessing "smokie" isn't what it says on the driver's birth certificate. Do bus drivers have stage names? Thanks, Sarah.