Monday, December 30, 2013

"Historic" Village Diner

I guess it's full of fake history. Thanks April.

Sunday, December 29, 2013

"Great" Gifts

I guess they mean these gifts will make the recipient say "Greeeeeat." Thanks Matthew.


I guess if you take your boots off RIGHT inside the lobby, good enough. Thanks Steve.

More fake bacon

I guess they have, like, bacos? Thanks Megan.

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Oh "Deer"

This is pun-tastic. Thanks Erin!

the wink wink department

I guess this is where you used to go to do "important" "business" about "health." Thanks Jack.

Friday, December 20, 2013


Jesse spotted this at a cafe, I do not know the status of these spoons, or the adjective/verb intention of the word in quotation marks.

Last Minute Gift Idea

This is your annual reminder that all your friends and family probably want The Book of Unnecessary Quotation Marks as a christmas gift.

"Sinister" bag

Rina and her boyfriend saw this ominous note in a Brooklyn apartment building. I can't tell if the quotation marks make it seem more or less sinister.

Thursday, December 19, 2013

"Fresh" from "Dixon"

I wonder how far this corn really came, and how long it really took. Thanks Jason.

"Waiting" as you say

I guess they saw you playing candy crush and think that's not the purest form of waiting. Thanks Pip May.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

so, like, one?

It seems like maybe they have a non-zero number of fried green tomatoes. Thanks Emily!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

We want your "business"

I wonder what kind of "business" they are looking for... Thanks Janeanne.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Better than the "View"

I assume the "view" is a mural painting, but I don't know what the "food" might be. Thanks Carol.

"Free" Estimate

Just another example of stuff that has a hidden cost. Even estimates, I guess. Thanks Emmi.

"Anyone" eh?

Seems like this Tattoo shop is a bit skeptical about their usual panhandlers' requests. Thanks Ryan.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Walk "PETS" Away

I am now imagining some kind of non-pet pets. Maybe, like, fish because you can't pet them? I mean, or walk them, but still. Thanks Melissa.

Password is "Password"?

Submitter Mandy writes, "I am still confused if there is a password or if the password is indeed password."


I guess you can put any old trash into that hole. Thanks Neil.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Sounds "Fun"

Submitter Matt reports: "In fairness, the bouncy castle and ball pool they had set up upstairs did look fun. That said, it was entirely indoors."

No smoking... what?

Submitter Nellie explains that this sign was posted in her band's practice space. None of us know what the picture is supposed to be, which makes it definitely the best part.

Where are the chefs really?

I guess it's more like in-restaurant. Thanks Miriam.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

"Fine" Watch & Jewelry

How's your service? "Fine." Yeah, I'll totally go there. Thanks Jon.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

"Real" BBQ Sauce

I guess they're trying to avoid criticism from barbecue lovers from another US region? Thanks David.

Monday, December 09, 2013

"Delicious" Burgers

I guess these burgers and milkshakes are only marginally delicious. Thanks Geoffrey.

"No" Flea Market

I like that one sign has the quotation marks and the other one doesn't. It's like, I don't know, both not a flea market and yes a flea market simultaneously. Thanks Shemmy.

Sunday, December 08, 2013

"Not Working"

So, um, is this treadmill working? Thanks Marc.

Friday, December 06, 2013

When "you leave"

Ok, the mix of underlining and quotation marks in this sign is entirely mystifying. The lock is maybe fake, and your leaving may or may not take place on this... time stream? Thanks Ramona.

Is that, like, Dante's Inferno or something?

This church pamphlet presents some real mixed messages on the existence and seriousness of hell. Thanks Grace.

Thursday, December 05, 2013

Take a number to be "served"

I don't know what kind of "service" you can get here. Sounds... sketchy. Thanks Richard.

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

"Wait" to be seated

I guess you can "wait" impatiently. Thanks Alec.

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

The so-called furniture

I guess this "furniture" barely qualifies. Thanks Amanda.

Monday, December 02, 2013

He "decided"

Honestly, I'm not sure what this is after without the quotation marks. With them, it poses some serious theological questions. Thanks Matthias.

Breakfast Buffet

Submitter Douglas points out that whoever called this buffet "All you care to eat" may have been hinting that it's not very good.

Sunday, December 01, 2013

Fake warning

Go ahead, set off the alarm. See what happens. We "warned" you. Thanks John.

That one guy

I guess "Jesus" is a nickname for a dude whose real name is Christ? Or something? Thanks Andy.

Saturday, November 30, 2013

"odor control"

Ok, if this is a euphemism, I'm not sure how to express this meaning more explicitly. Thanks Andrew.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013


I guess it's not so delicious after all. Thanks Civarazzi.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

"lot" full

I have no idea what this is referring to if it is not a parking lot. I mean, the bar for achieving "lot" status is pretty low, right? Thanks Angie.

Fair enough

This candy probably isn't actually from a mountain, but WHAT IF IT WAS from the Big Rock Candy Mountain. The one! From the song! Thanks Jo.

Monday, November 25, 2013

"students" take note

I guess the "students" at this school don't "study" so much? Thanks David.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

"Country Store"

I guess the store is actually in the city. Thanks Rob.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

"Never" Forget

I mean, I guess we should be realistic about memories and stuff. Thanks Ryan.

No "Pets"

I guess they have a problem with your taxidermy pets here. Thanks Linda.

Monday, November 18, 2013

"The Bridge"

Submitter Kathryn testifies that it is a real bridge. Over a canyon.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Flush "Automatically"

I guess there's an "automatic" flusher pushing buttons somewhere... creepy... Thanks Erin.

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Former Bookies "Whatever"

None of this makes any sense, so it's probably the greatest. Thanks Catherine.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Sure it is

Sounds like a lot of "fun." Thanks John.


I guess these rooms aren't too.... classy? Thanks Tavi.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

"Press" the button

I guess you really have to whack it. Thanks Roxanne.

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Fake Saturday?

Maybe they are protesting the traditional days of the week? Maybe it's a Friday but it will feel like Saturday because crabs? Thanks John.