reserved for me

Suuure it is. This has nothing to do with protecting your high score. Thanks, Grace.

totally made in "cuba"

These cuban-style cigars are "made" by "hand" to be sure. Thanks, Emily.

still "closed"

So the most awesome thing about this sign is that they clearly changed the year and reprinted last years. Thanks, Jenn.

As somebody said

This sign is a monument to that one time that one person said, "Drive safely." Thanks, Zach.

not really sorry

And good riddance to those pokemon toys! They were so 1999. Thanks, Julian.

Ride with an "adult"

I'm not sure what the real code is here, but its wiley, that much is certain. Thanks, Wesley.

not really so absolute

I guess there are a few situations where smoking is ok. Thanks, Jack.

an "oil" change eh?

I don't know what they're putting into your car, but I bet it isn't oil. Thanks, Ginger.

do not "tape" it

I don't know how you would tape something open, so maybe that's what the quotation marks are about. Thanks, Frank.

Remember to "close door"

I'm not sure what exactly you are supposed to do, but it is definitely colorful. Thanks, Debbie.

don't flush "anything"

I guess your, ahem, excretions are excluded from the definition of "anything." Thanks, Maggie.

around friday

I guess the refuse pick-up takes place whenever they get to it. Thanks, Laura.

or don't notice

I guess the closing isn't all that temporary? Thanks, Shomir.

responsible-ish

I guess they are only responsible in the moral sense. Thanks, Kristina.

"attention"

Scott suggests you are actually supposed to ignore the new nozzles.

if you call that living

I guess this music is not so lively. Thanks, Paul and Ian.

you know, the "toilet"

Abigail assures me this is a real toilet.

I'll take a "pass"

I guess as long as you get a parking D or better, you're still ok. Thanks, Chris.

"very" thrilling

Lotte in Amsterdam sent me this photo from a bookstore, translated "Very" thrilling books. So I guess only a little thrilling.

quiet-ish

I guess this place is relatively quiet, except for all the traffic noise, bullfrogs, cicadas and neighbors. Thanks, Edward.

more or less free

I guess there really is no such thing as a free frozen Margarita. Thanks, Jan.

"solicito" or something

Submitter Naomi explains:
It translates roughly as " 'Soliciting' female cook". My best guess at what it really means: "We don't actually NEED a new cook, but it would be nice to have some female company around here." Either that or it's a thinly veiled call for a housewife from a lonely bachelor.

if you call yourself that

I guess guardians are included here too. Thanks, Bob.

what are they really selling?

This store may or may not be actually selling swingsets. Thanks, Dominic.

"entrance on Colorado Blvd"

I have to admit, if your business is called Colorado Blvd Self Storage, "Entrance on Colorado Blvd" is a brilliant catchphrase. Nobody will forget where you are located. Thanks, Connor.

"new titles"

I guess there's no such thing as brand new titles, only new... covers? Thanks Jakub.

far from perfect?

Looks like somebody couldn't quite bring themselves to fudge the truth even for Father's Day. Thanks, Brooks.

code pizza

Who knows what you are actually getting by the slice, or what "made to order" might actually mean. Thanks, Liz.

"flowering" plant

This reads a lot easier in full size. It is a label for a "flowering" ginger plant. Your guess is as good as mine to whether flowers will appear or not. Thanks, Jason.

Not the towed ones

I guess it's not for your convenience if you just got towed. So you aren't included in the "all" part there. Thanks, Paul.

No "stepping"

Brandon's plausible explanation is that they are trying to avoid unauthorized popping and locking.

really just peanuts?

I wonder what's actually in those bags... Thanks Barbara!

super-y

Milk with a cape? What are its powers? Thanks, Jane.

or did you?

I'll let submitter Leah explain this one:
"My dad coaches Little League baseball and one of the kids' moms made these for the coaches. I think the quotations are less about showing off her pun and more about reassuring my mom that they didn't really... you know... 'score'."

sounds... gross

Kat pointed me to this website. Is it just me, or does it sound like the bag is filled with synthetic essence of Bieb?

or is it one?

Jenny spotted this in St. Louis, were there appears to be some question about what is the front.

Don't feed the "birds"

I've seen a lot of fake polite, but not so many fake birds. Maybe they are animatronic? Explains why you shouldn't feed them. Thanks, Eli.

or some fish sticks

I guess this special is really whatever kind of fish is handy. Thanks, Meg.

"highest quality"

Well, I guess if you say so... Thanks, Melissa.

As the song says...

Maybe this really is a popular song in Australia. Thanks, Kate.

"courtesy flush"

I guess the button will work for any flushes, regardless of your level of courtesy. Thanks, Gabrielle.

"drive-offs" as we call them

I don't know how you might "pre-pay" here or with "what." Thanks, Lora.

"no" penguin parties

You absolutely should "not" throw a party here. And you certainly should "avoid" inviting penguins. Thanks, Lemon Bottle.

maybe not YOU

We are praying for somebody anyway. Thanks, E.

It's for "family"

Submitter Alia suggests this is really a restaurant for the mob.

"time to relax"

I guess it isn't really that time. Thanks, Mandy.

sounds like a "good" product

Submitter Cecile comments, "I especially wondered what 'biodegradable' really means...the 'animal friendly' meat is not so hard to understand."

I have lots of "needs"

I understand sarcasm about office supply "needs" but I'm not sure what's really going on when somebody "notices" things are missing. Maybe it means if you "stole" it. Thanks, Chris.

"waiting on parts"

Suuure. The PARTS are the holdup. That story is certain to check out. Thanks, Chris.

dirty-ish

Steve quips, "I'm inclined to believe that 'sandy feet' is a euphemism for something unspeakable, and I can only assume that they hold entirely different standards of cleanliness than the guests regarding dishes."