Tuesday, July 31, 2007
maybe it's a "queue"
Writes submitter Peter: "Originally this was just a picture of a horribly drawn arrow at a store I visited in Williamsburg, Virginia. It was only upon further inspection that I "realized" that we had only been standing in a "line." I also like the how "ENd" was a) written with a combination
of upper and lower case letters, and b) underlined twice for no apparent reason."
Perhaps this store has a history of people standing in a jumble, rather than an orderly line (or queue). Incidentally, I love the word queue. It's the only word in the english language where the only consonant is Q.
more "work" email
she adds, "in case you are wondering, the 'rubber' doorstop has yet to be 'discovered.'" I hope they have found good ways to "prop" open their doors... I really do think the fake materials is the best part of this particular email. What was this punctuator thinking?
Monday, July 30, 2007
"untimely"
I agree that quotes are usually there for a reason in news stories - I also know that reporters don't write the headlines - but the headline writer at ABC News.com clearly wasn't a fan of John Kronus.
fair enough. Although I imagine someone else called it "untimely."
(headline reads:
Another Wrestler's 'Untimely' Death
John Kronus Found Dead in Girlfriend's N.H. Apartment)
Sunday, July 29, 2007
love, robbers
Marlo spotted this one in a Ross dressing room. I suggest it is quoted because whoever made the sign would prefer that you DID leave them unattended so he/she could steal them.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
wash your car with pizza
What's confusing about this one is that the quotes do nothing to clarify if "the works" refers to the type of car wash, or the clever name of the deal. Thanks to Jon in Minnesota.
Friday, July 27, 2007
sarcastic polite
Marlo spotted this one at Wal-Mart. I like to read it like somebody is saying it in that fakey-polite voice.
fake real
Wohlers Heating & Air Conditioning, Corp, of Cottage Grove, WI, has
trucks bearing the motto
MAKING YOUR HEATING NEEDS A "REALITY"
Thought you ought to know.
indeed.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
good "idea"
This sign is too good. Rachael sent it to me. You have to wonder what the person who punctuated this was "thinking".
newish
Mike was at a Pret-a-manger in London (I'm jealous) and spotted this. He writes:
I realize that a jalapeno chicken wrap is hardly anything “new”, but I won’t hold it against an establishment for applying that tagline to a product they recently began offering. The Pret a Manger in London obviously feels differently.
What’s truly strange is that all of the other hot wraps were in fact, NEW—without quotations.
Incidentally, did everyone else read that they're starting to put these in the US? I mean, nowhere near Athens, GA, but still. I'm excited about my favorite UK chain I can't pronounce crossing the Atlantic...
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
ambiguous number of days
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
clutch is a weird word though
sarcastic about front and back
Leah from Waterloo writes: This is from my work..the folder is where we file cheques and other such payments for the accountant to go through. I really trust the person who "can't use proper punctuation" to pay me...right. (Just kidding, she's a very nice lady).
Although I'm still wondering, does she want people to file things in front of the tabs, or not?
Monday, July 23, 2007
fabulicious
Jim noticed this when we went to our favorite wings place last week. They are good wings, but I guess somebody in particular said so.
a "horrible" gift
Also when we were in Helen, Jim spotted this one. The part you can't really read from the glare says "your family name history printed on a beautiful parchment." While I was looking for a gift for my mom's birthday, I found this, um, imperfect. So I guess, appropriate?
Sunday, July 22, 2007
she called it country "music"
SAVANNAH, TN - - (July 11, 2007) -- Darryl Worley’s Tennessee River Run presented by West Tennessee Healthcare sets talent line up for the 6th annual event. Joining Worley at the centerpiece concert event are superstar legend, “Charlie Daniels”, multi-award winning and platinum selling, Curb Records recording artist “Trick Pony” featuring their new lead singer, the beautiful and awesome, Aubrey Collins, and just coming off two consecutive hit records in “Alyssa’s Lies” and “Livin’ Our Love Song,” Arista Records recording artist, “Jason Michael Carroll”. The annual event will be held September 14 – 15, 2007 at Pickwick Landing State Park Resort in Hardin County, TN.
You know, that guy some of us call "Charlie Daniels" will be there. what's especially egregious about this example is that the song titles are (appropriately) quoted, which makes the artist names blend in instead of stand out. Silly country promoters.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
alleged peanuts
Jim and I went to Helen, GA recently when he was here visiting. This chocolate shop smelled heavenly, AND featured this great sign. The fudge was a bit outside our grad student price range, but the sign and the smells made the stop in worthwhile. I love a hanging quotation mark. And imaginary ingredients.
cigarettes are "gross"
Katie sent me this. I'm tempted to believe that "tar" is a colloquial term for something else. Then again, the federal government has done weird language things before, so you never know...
Friday, July 20, 2007
this local politician "has" an education...
It is littered with unnecessary quotation marks; Pat chooses "You are a 'thug'" as a favorite. I'm also fond of the part about Mr Winston's "stupid 'ass'" especially since it comes after the part about "your so-called friends" (no quotation marks when the ironic use would be appropriate.)
Also, I'm usually just the quotation marks police, and leave other people's writing style alone. Well, on this blog anyway, but I can't let "your dumb stupid ass" go by without a comment about the redundancy and lack of creativity here...
"prompt" and "cheap"
From what I know about insurance, "saving me money" might be exactly right.
Same story with cable. I don't think I've ever had a prompt response - "prompt" is right!
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
this is "my own post"
Subject: Processor's Certification letter
Importance: HighYou can find this fill in the blanks letter in Company Docs under Docs-All Blank Forms."please" do not save your info or change anything in this letter-- if you want to save or change it - save it to "YOUR OWN FILE"Thank You, (name erased)
again with the fake names
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
so-called "crap shooting"
Complaint description: excessive noise; This is additional information to a request sent regarding garbage and litter. The tenants at (address removed) often sit on my property across the street on almost a nightly basis. They also play their car stereos loudly and have been seen "shooting craps" on the stairs of my property. In addition, I have observed them "rolling joints" of marijuana and smoking. This property is a nuisance.
if you're going to smoke marijuana, you should really learn how to roll it right. Don't go around "rolling joints." Seriously.
I love interacting with "humans"
you have to click this picture to be able to read it. The key segment is this: your order has been reviewed by "humans."
In other words, your order has been reviewed by our trained monkey, but don't worry. He rejected it....
Monday, July 16, 2007
Count on this
The blog post expresses some deep trauma from an old wound, but nevertheless my attuned eyes caught the extra quotes on the license plate frame.
"a place that you can count on"
Don't get me started on how they ended their "sentence" with a preposition, that's a matter for another blog. I will say that my customer experience was so poor that I'm still horked off enough to write about it. So Highland Chrysler Jeep, count on "this".
Lost in Translation
At Taco Real in Hammond, IN:
Free "chips and salsa" served with every meal. (The salsa did taste rather like tomato soup...)
On the take-out menu for J's Peapod, Lansing, IL:
"Why drive? When we deliver" hot to your door.
A case of the mondays
Ladies and Gentlemen: please excuse the “blanket” e-mail, but we (Facilities) feel a need to send this message to “all” on the third floor. We have had a number of complaints about the odor coming from the refrigerators. After sending Dave Hxxxxxx to check things out, it was discovered that someone left soup in the refrigerator too long and it turned sour. Also, strawberries were left too long and they were bad. PLEASE continue to check any food that you have stored in the refrigerator and be responsible, remove it after a day if it has not been eaten. These refrigerators are not to be used for long term storage of food. Also large items are supposed to be stored in the refrigerator in the staff dining room on the first floor. DO NOT OVERSTUFF these units, this causes poor circulation within the cooling area and ice builds up.
clearly some of the people are left out, hence the "all" included in the "blanket" email...
Sunday, July 15, 2007
more "complimentary" stuff
I am going to believe that it's called a "complimentary" consultation because they say nice things about you lik "you have such good ideas," "you're such a beautiful bride," and not because it's free.
I'm "excited."
Saturday, July 14, 2007
or "the mistress"
not really their drinks
Friday, July 13, 2007
also this one
This one is just absurd. Scott took it at the Chicago Pride Parade. Although, I suppose, this broker isn't interested in MY needs....
what?
Thursday, July 12, 2007
"school"
Sent: Wednesday, July 04, 2007 7:21 PMSubject:[*****freecycle] Offered "School Furniture" HD7 Area
Maybe the "couple" in the previous article could use some new "furniture"
fictitious bride and groom
that silly little "job"
Indeed. Good luck with your new "career," if you must call it that, M.
I know I "am"
Cliff noticed this one upon opening his web browser recently. While I am often kind to headlines, I can't think of a good way to justify this one, since the words are so vernacular. Unless this is some kind of existential comment...
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
I guess the guests aren't so dear
This photo was taken by Bess on her honeymoon who sent it to her brother Bayne (turns out unnecessary quotation marks is a joke in their family too). Bayne sent it to me, and good thing he did. I'm not sure I'd want to stay at this place since I may or may not be a "guest" and the towels may or may not be "clean"...
it's not OUR warning
Daniela sends us this from a highchair in a chinese restaurant. It has really ridiculous levels of emphasis (evidently SECURE and NEVER are less important than WARNING). Maybe they mean to say "hey, it's not our warning. We're quoting someone else. Don't shoot the messenger!"
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
at least they nested correctly
smoking observation
When Scott first saw this sign he meant if you observe smoking like it's a holiday. "I'm sorry, I'm an observant smoker and it's Yom Kippur..." It's good to know that they are "serious" about the "No Re-entry."
the "blog" in "print"
I'm pretty excited. Thanks Brian!
(permanent link to article on Brian's blog).
I don't "believe" it...
Monday, July 09, 2007
because it's a mob front
Amy and her husband didn't "visit" this gallery in midtown NYC. I don't know if I would trust their "shipping" to arrive on time anyway. Maybe they really aren't interested in "customers"?
not actually polite
Kate spotted this in a small hotel on the washington coast. You can sense the insincerity of their politeness, I think...
blue-esque
Katie spotted this one at a restaurant, and survived a strange look from the cashier while taking this photo. Evidently the color may or may not really be blue. I won't even get into the confusing syntax in the rest of this sign...
same restaurant. Katie's id, however, did not get to eat for free. Neither did it earn her a free meal.
Sunday, July 08, 2007
you make a better door...
Jon in Minnesota spotted this one in Eden Prairie Mall. I think here the quotes denote a pun, which is another of those borderline areas, like slogans.
they aren't really selling anything
Reader Julia sent me this sign. I would be a little sketched out by a "sale" myself... Julia adds that she didn't get a chance to photograph the back, which lacks the quotes on "sale" and puts them instead around "seniors helping seniors". There was a senior headed her way, yelling, and she didn't want to have to "buy" anything.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
"freedom days"
Speaking of freedom, I'll be out of town until Sunday. You'll survive without me somehow.
"messages," as it were
Jen in Scotland writes "I'm a volunteer at my local hospital radio station, and we have a book for 'messages', provided for us by 'Mike' if that really is his real name..."
foreign
Since neither of us read Korean, we can't tell for sure if these are appropriate or not, but don't they LOOK like they could be wrong? The second one is from a belgian website:
Jan helpfully translates the last line into english: Send us (without any further obligations) an "email" message.
Now, maybe in Belgian you put foreign words in quotes (in English it's standard to use italics) but maybe "email" is their secret sarcastic term for a fax?
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
seasonal
Perhaps the quotation marks are to draw attention to the fact that, while our country may be independent from great britain, we rely economically on the third world to supply raw materials and cheap labor. What really makes this sign special, though, is the extra opening quotes. Classic.
Thanks to Lisa in NYC who spotted and photographed this one.
ok, I'll "stay out of it" then
Elzear supplied the title of this post, and this comment, "Bless these little co-conspirators for letting me know that the whole 'supposed' 'so-called' bike-lane 'closure' thing isn't really to be taken all that seriously."
hip terms for corn like "on the cob"
Corn in the U.S.A.
Chowders, salads, salsas, chili--not to mention "on the cob!" Get recipes for this versatile summertime favorite.
"on the cob"? I imagine that these quotes are meant to indicate "as the kids are saying these days" or whatever, but is there some other more formal term for corn on the cob? Sam, who sent me this one, also points out that the exclamation points adds just a little bit more humor.
Monday, July 02, 2007
eye-witness story
When my friend Jon filled out this form for his movers, one of the movers labelled it, "billing address," complete with quotes, before his VERY EYES!
hockey is not really a high brow sport
I wonder if, as "Hockey Royalty" they get to "christen ships" and wear "crowns"? Thanks to Nirvana who spotted this in LA, and is also awesome.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
don't "drill" on this bus
This sticker was spotted by Skye (who apparently has two blogs) on the wall of a city bus in Austin, TX. I didn't know that people drilled on bus walls generally. Maybe it's a euphemism, hence the quotation marks.
blogiversary
Incidentally, I was just looking at my blogroll here and discovered that apostrophe abuse and lowercaseL both also started in July '05. That is a very strange coincidence, although I suspect so many similar styled blogs started at the same time due to the growing availability of cameraphones.