hope you got your punctuation skills from the real mom

Thomas saw this at a wedding in Florida. I wonder what kind of secret wrong-your language this person might be referencing.

I'm sure it is

This is the secretly spiked punch. Or should I say "secretly." Thanks, Yvonne.

Posted today in honor of my sister's wedding (and dry reception) today. Congratulations, Meredith and Micah!

"flavors"

This is a dairy free ice cream-like thing (no quotation marks for that at all, note) that apparently has some "great" "flavors."

unlimited "throw ins"

I am not sure I want to know what kind of gross stuff qualify as "throw ins." Thanks, Carly.

for pretend christians

Dude, even Unitarians get behind the word "faith." I guess this is for religious hedgers. Thanks, Evan.

"delicious"

Hamburgers, they are so "yummy." Thanks, John.

"emergency numbers"

I guess these are for fake emergencies. And they are letters. Thanks, Joshua.

"not sarcastic"

This sign is "really" "sincere" about how much they "love" kids. Thanks, Lisa.

if you call that a crepe

I assume a french person demanded these quotation marks. Thanks, Noam.

quotation from handbook?

Ken writes: If I can interpret this correctly, it’s telling us “What the hell. Snacks inside. Come on in.”