No "outside" soliciting

I guess if you're indoors, you can solicit away. Thanks Jon.

some coffee shop

This is not just any coffee shop. It is "the" one. Thanks Rodolfo in Brazil.

"content" marketing you say?

Hahahahahaha I'm not sure what this means without quotation marks. Business-ese! Thanks Morgan.

good-ish

This is on a piece of black stage curtain, which is not actually that good. Thanks Felix.

"please" close

I guess you can close the elevator rudely if you want. Thanks anonymous submitter.

please mime knocking

Do pretend to knock before barging in. Thanks Karla.

so, when?

What about when it's really closed? Thanks Alan.

secretly open?

Submitter Marcus asks, "Is '3rd floor access' a euphemism for something else?"

you know, "them."

The "they" that do things I can't see, those are the guys who are fixing the internet. So, uh, don't worry? Thanks to Charlie, who also sent me another sign from the same issue with different words in quotation marks. For variety, I guess.

"thanx"

No "letters," only "numbers." Ok? Thanks Noah.