middle-aged ilka road?

I'm just trying to say Ilka road is no spring chicken, ok? Thanks, Joe.

really more of a honk

Wait for that doorknob to "click" you know, when you just KNOW you'll be friends forever. Thanks, Andrew.

"kids" must come with an "adult"

Well, if your definition of "adult" is fungible, maybe they can bring a coupon on saturday too. Thanks, Soheil.

almost all

Ok, we threw one of these together in the car on the way over here. Thanks, Josh.

fake year

Get in your time machine, and go to this appointment, in "2011". Good luck figuring out when that is. Maybe this is really a commentary on the actual birth year of Christ. Thanks, Katie.

"spicy" almonds

These almonds are spicy, if you're a WIMP! Thanks, Hopita.

"no smoking"

Mia suggests, "Cigarettes are a no-no; everything else might be fair game."

"no" "weapons"

So this is obviously a complicated secret code, about something unrelated to food, beverages or weapons. I don't know, exotic pets? Thanks, Elisa.

he'll shine whatever

Just bring your "shoes" right over to this guy. Thanks David and Ed.

"project ideas" eh?

Isobel writes, "as a fine art student the derision of even my tutors at my "project ideas" is truely disheartening."

"cow" manure

If you've labeled your stuff bull shit, and it's not. Well. I don't know what to think. Thanks, Anthony.

WANTS

Oh man, this company makes lamps in punctuation mark shapes. I want them a lot, but the fact that they are made to order doesn't bode well for my grad student budget. Thanks for the headsup Brandee!

not that much longer

David and Amy spotted this one. David tells me that soon after they left this place, their car died. Quotation marks correct?

"your" senator

Liz writes, "I like how it makes a campaign promise and takes it back at the same time."

"custom-made" is a relative term

Brian quips that you can have one of these "custom" strombolis as long as they choose one of these ones.

no glitter anywhere

We may have seen this before, but THIS time my husband saw it on his way to see his brother graduate from police academy. And he tells me the bathroom was clean but lacked sparkles.

scarier and scarier

Click to enlarge IF YOU DARE. There's an undead evil looking chimpanzee, and I would keep my distance. Thanks, Leslie.

"bearing" down

This one gets points for using an awkward expression, for a mediocre pun, and for the fact that a Koala is not, technically, a bear. Thanks, Carrie.

if you call that "salsa"

David spotted this at a taco shop. I guess they have a real salsa and a "salsa" they give to gringos.

Thank "You"

Well, the quotation marks here certainly add to the sarcastic tone. Perhaps what's really unnecessary is the passive aggression. Thanks, Smurf.

made to fit your "opening"

Way to make windows sound dirty, guys. Thanks, Joe.

Well, fair enough

You know what, QT. I can endorse this. "Liking" something isn't the same as liking it. I'm ok with any facebook activity taking place within quotation marks. Thanks, Jason.

oooh, that...

I like the implication in this one that "switch off" is some kind of slogan or cliche that I have never heard before. Thanks Sridhar.

from near Greece

Maybe this is really from somebody's house in greek town? Thanks, Autumn.

it's a "good rate"

This guy will move your stuff in his "cargo van" under an assumed rate. He "won't" rob you at all! Thanks, MPR.

resembles a salad

I guess you crazy people call this stuff "salad." Whatever. Thanks, Tracy.

non-dairy-esque

Sure, "non-dairy-spread" is a terrible name for a thing, but might it actually contain some cheese? Thanks MPR.

"price reduction"

MPR suggests the prices were marked up to begin with.

Fake honor role?

I guess the boundaries of the honor roll are getting more and more fuzzy in this town. Thanks, Tara.

"estimated"

Yeah, or "math experts" totally "estimated" that one. They "estimated" it really good. Thanks, MPR.

don't leave, that would be" terrible"...

These people are "really" invested in you staying in your car, and staying on the property. Thanks, Alicia.

they "moved"

I guess this is how you explain they were evicted without saying so? Thanks, Amber.

Made "here"

Where "here" is a technical term meaning "on the premises." I guess. Thanks, Darryl.

Or is it?

The elipses really add to the mysteriousness of this one. SURE it isn't... Thanks JoEllen.

truffle oil gelato?

I can only imagine what kinds of shmancy ingredients are in this gelato to constitute "world's finest." Thanks, Gwen.

"refreeze" or something

I don't know what really will happen to the sidewalks, but keep your car snow off of them! Thanks, Heidi.

"quality" eh?

This is some decent car washing! Thanks Doug.

because we "care"

Oh man, these people are totally "concerned" about your "safety." Thanks, Greg.

where?

This thing came from imaginary south africa. Like the set of District 9 or something. So that's pretty cool. Thanks, Anders.

Presented Without Comment

Thanks Christina.

Or are they?

Second best taquitos in santa fe! Thanks, Stephen.

or... do?

This sign is daring you to touch something. What it is, I'm not sure. Some trash bags? A traffic cone? Thanks Hopita.

or creature

Danielle translates this note from her building in Spain thus:

Please, the "person" who leaves us your bag thrown in the elevator, doorway or stairs
I PRAY
that you retrieve it and throw it in the trash, or better still, that you recycle it.
THANK YOU
(very well)

So pretty good generally, and really if you leave your trash in the hall, you are practically a monster, amirite?

a "book" eh?

That's a real vote of confidence if you can't even be sincere about calling it a "book." I guess it isn't exactly groundbreaking either. Thanks, Maggie.

for Texan immigrants?

Please notice that this chicken feed is actually made in Tennessee, so the quotation marks are technically accurate. But why bring up Texas at all? Thanks, Chase.

"puh-leeese"

I'll admit that the best part of this submission was Norman's list of the products available at this store: "a huge stack of Ricky Martin magazines from the 90s, leopard skin CD case holders, and copious amounts of pseudo Native American art with lots of buffalos." Sounds like stuff you really "need" to protect.

"out" "of" "order"

My favorite part of this is the sincere please at the end, which doesn't make a lot of sense. UNLESS it's a secret code. Thanks, Joe.

"please" follow the rules

No more pretend smoking. We mean it! Not even politely! Thanks, quipmaster.

"hormigas"

I like how there's more in quotation marks in English, I guess it's really the "ants" that are in question. Are they actually roaches? Because that's grosser. Thanks, John.

"red bus"

I don't know what color the bus really is. Maroon? Fuchsia? Thanks, Amanda.