Tuesday, September 30, 2014

It's "Strict"

They totally "enforce" this lock time. "Strictly." Thanks John.

Want "stress free"?

I'm guessing the implication here is that the source of Christmas stress is not the cooking? Thanks Owen.

"Turn Off" Fans

I guess if you, like, floss in front of them that'll do it. Thanks Sarah.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Quotation Marks in spain

Submitter Jim translates the above sign:


 I guess your children's health might be, like, third. Thanks Jim!

Made regular for you

It's made in the normal way. We didn't do anything creepy to your pizza. Probably. Thanks Jack.

"Linerbags" and stuff

Clearly, the "rubberband" is the most important fake thing in this note on a trashcan, but not the only fake or important thing. Thanks citizenjaq.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Please "Lock" "Door"

More bathroom codes or something. Mime locking near the door? Thanks Joy.

Not such a good deal?

I'm going to assume that first one is a really subtle reference to this. Thanks Douglas.

Pull "Gently"

You know, just grab that sucker however you want. Thanks Doug.

Saturday, September 27, 2014

"Stop" it

I guess this is some complex bathroom code, I have no idea what you're really supposed to do with toilet paper. Thanks Chris.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014


I wonder what fake Sundays this store is open on? Thanks Christopher.

Monday, September 22, 2014


The layaway is only fake for english speakers I guess. Thanks Christopher.

Friday, September 19, 2014


Don't think too hard about what a truly complete flush might be (Off the planet altogether? Out of existence?) Thanks Phil.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Repair "By Experts"

Those "experts" are probably really "reliable" and "good" at their jobs. Thanks Stephen.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Buffalo "Wangs"

I think I hope these quotation marks are necessary and I really hope they meant to say wings. And mean it. Thanks sakkyoku.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Actually someone else's

I feel like we should be clear about whose waste this is, but I'm not going to get close enough to find out. Thanks Charlotte.

Monday, September 15, 2014

We "Established" It, Ok?

But not, like, established enough that we've sold out to the man or anything.... Thanks Dan.

"Pillow" sale

I guess these are sorry excuses for pillows. Thanks Marie.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

We're sure you'll be "highly satisfied"

I'm not sure what they're implying here, but it seems kind of suspect. Just give me some lean cuisines with no funny stuff, ok? Thanks Jeremy.