Thursday, April 30, 2009

I love that song!

Wow, I didn't know that No Name on Box was the band who sang that one. I don't know why the mailboxes at Sarah's apartment have a soundtrack though. It might get annoying...

really reduced

Ha, you guys thought we meant the PRICE was reduced. Well, the meat is. And it's only marginally meat anymore. Deal with it. Thanks, Susan.

chuck it in there

Alexander spotted this at a recycling center. I guess you just have to pretend to be careful.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

it's like a double negative

James asks "Does putting quotation marks around the word 'faux' mean 'genuine'?" A good question.

well, if they were free...

Katie says this is in the break room at Wal-Mart. I think the most ambiguous part of the sign is the elipses. What comes next? Did the writer die while making this sign?

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

we're "serious"

I think this tense is called the future uncertain. Thanks, Brandon.

we "like" when you come by

Eric writes, "I work in the Department of Veteran's Affairs Building in Sacramento (though not for that agency, curiously) and in the foyer, this sign was above the glass display, "welcoming" veterans." If my experience with bureaucracy is any measure, this sign is relatively accurate.

Monday, April 27, 2009

good euphemism, buddy

It's not stolen, man, it's just "unpaid for". Thanks, Scott.

sociopathic cake decorator

Jackie notes that before this cake was eaten, it read Happy Birth Day "Jeff". This cake decorator seems to question people's names and be unaware of this odd earth-tradition called birth days.

punctuation. it's not for decoration.

Kate saw this outside a cell store in Philadelphia. Evidently periods are also for emphasis to this sign-maker.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

I need more "security" around here

that's right kids, imaginary security starts when you pretend to lock things. Thanks, Lindsay.


Josh acknowledges that people do actually use this staircase in both directions. If they really meant to only go down, the direction to stay right would make less sense, in fact. Which leads to my next question: why post the sign at all?

Saturday, April 25, 2009

something like it

Matt spotted this in St Stephen NB. I guess they have a place where the coffee is so bad they can really only call it dark colored warm beverage, officially.

Friday, April 24, 2009

come here, "pet"

James writes, "I saw this at a market in Flinders, near Melbourne (Australia). My mind's been racing ever since, trying to figure exactly what they're selling.. and to whom."
I wonder how my boyfriend would feel about being called "pet" from now on. If it means he gets treats... (Just kidding, Justin)

insert my WHAT in WHERE?

Nathan writes, "I had to get an xray recently. Had some trouble with the gown."

let's see a birth certificate

Another Bethany writes "When we moved, someone left this 'gift' for our four day old son." I am impressed that the kid is already working under an assumed name. I'd get rid of the bill, it's probably going to explode to keep him from fulfilling his destiny saving the world.

so-called environment

James got this pizza in Hatfield, England. He says the pizza wasn't that great. And they are sarcastic about the existence of an environment, apparently.

that's quite a nickname

I guess if you live in Dillard's, the name is deserved. Thanks, Mary!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

so to speak

David spotted this in Lancaster, UK. I assume the "buns" also includes things like rolls or loaves. Or something.

fresh from the pun factory

The future of AI: bad puns with quotation marks around them to make sure you don't miss it. Thanks, Jonathan.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Summar saw this in IL. So, um, it's not in china, I guess. Actually, this sign reminded me of this fascinating video of a lecture about the history of "Chinese" food in America. It would be funny if in the restaurant they actually had, like, Japanese food, or Thai or something.

that's a great poem

This sign is clearly making an allusion to some literary or artistic work that is about this store. And its cheese. I think I would like to have an adventure in cheese. Thanks, Camille.


Note the page title on this ebill for Sheree's phone. I'm glad to see that they are so confident in their "security" protocols.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

pretend it's shut

Just tell the manager the door is shut, she gets all up-tight about it and nobody knows why. Thanks, SM.

"not" a ponzi scheme

Adam spotted this one at his local JP Morgan Chase. I am not sure if our economic situation makes this hilarious or not at all humorous.

erm, neo-classical

The apostrophe on this sign is like some kind of confusing bonus. Now that's "classic". Thanks, Alli in Ohio.

Monday, April 20, 2009

seriously, "don't"

If you place heavy items on this crappy old table, it will break and we'd have to get a new one. That would be "terrible" so "please", "don't do it." Thanks, Adam.

there may be some limits

Ok, so either the end quotes after limits are a mistake, or the ones at the end are. Is it really a gym? ARE THERE LIMITS? and then there's a slogan with more quotation marks for good measure. This is really an excellent specimen. Thanks to Maggie and her friend, who saw this on Grand Turk Island.

you know, "children"

I guess adults will take these donations and use them to become happy. Thanks, Julia who spotted this in Morocco.

"click" here

Norma spotted this one at her kid's school in Plymouth, MA. She writes, "I must say, the quotation marks may not be entirely unnecessary in this instance, as the sound of the door unlocking is actually more akin to a gunshot than a 'click,' in my opinion."

something private

look, there's a lot of things going on in this "property" and it's private, ok? So just stay away.
Thanks, Jeremy in Perth.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

fake protection

Don't be deceived, at the first sign of danger, the breaker is totally gone. It's a big wimp. Thanks, Greg.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

hey, you.

If you are Johnny Cash or a descendant of him, you must pay inside here. Thanks, Robbie.

"no smoking"

Andre suggests this is a trap. I suggest that they don't want you to interpret it that the flammable materials will never smoke.

meal-like collection of food

Joe spotted this at a chinese restaurant. I love it because it doesn't make sense on multiple levels. And I guess they mostly serve snacks here.

Friday, April 17, 2009

it really stinks

Meredith and Micah saw this one in Big Rapids, MI. Meredith is my sister, which is awesome. I guess you're supposed to smell their art, if you know what I mean...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

somebody's community anyway

Laura writes, "I got this sticker after donating to the Crimestoppers Fundraising campaign. I feel a little uneasy about it now, as it has made me doubt my place in this community." I wonder whose community is unsafe?

you can totally afford this

I guess the definition of "affordable" depends a lot on your income. Thanks, Jennifer.

pretend to enter it

actually, what you must do is mime entering your pin, but really press the arrow. The machine is finicky. Thanks, Scott.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

go ahead... "pull" it

David spotted this at a post office in Belfast. I guess the door has needs, or something.

atypical submission

Colleen cracked me up with this email: "I saw this guy at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston recently. It's a sculpture of a Chinese demon, but it inspired my boyfriend to immediately say, "Those air quotes are totally unnecessary." So of course I'm sending it to you."


clearly, the hours here, and what happens then, are extremely flexible. Thanks, David.

"trust" us

Tripjax writes "It's a sad day when you are simply washing your favorite coffee mug and find another item you can no longer trust."


The menu actually has a miserable life, dealing with you midday drunks all the time, but it fakes it. Thanks, Michael.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

sandwich performance art

So, this is supposed to be like a script for a performance art piece. The quotation marks are your part, so when somebody says "create your own" everyone is supposed to say "no" and then they will say it again. It's about the revolution, just go with it.
Thanks, Sean.


Victoria in Queens, NY spotted this one. I guess they mean more general categories, so no boxes or food stamps on there either. And don't even think about a credit card.

talking freezer

oh, man, that's one of my favorite quotations. Who said it anyway? Mark Twain or something?
Thanks, Cindy.

Monday, April 13, 2009

do you feel lucky, punk?

Nobody's shot you today? Why don't you participate in a tax on people who are bad at math! Now THAT is "lucky". Thanks, Daniel.

seems insincere...

Rob, Rebecca and Dustin all signed this email, so evidently this photo was a group effort. This booth was selling some kind of foodstuff at a gun show. Who knows what they are going to do to those poor veterans afterward though.

if that is their real last name

ok, this is weirdly timely now since the Obamas got their dog now, but Jessica spotted this in DC at the inauguration.