sinister

Does this make it seem like the sausage is made out of kids? Thanks, Geoff.

they have air in them!

Zoe spotted this at a laundromat. I will say this: I've washed plenty of coins, and they always come out ok.

don't "blow" it up

I guess you don't have to blow on it to clean it up. Thanks, David.

that's not cute

Libbey's friend spotted this in Alaska. I guess they've seen that joke too many times.

I apologize for being off the grid the last few days. I was with family for my brother-in-law's wedding and did not realize how busy I would be! My niece kept us all away from our computers.

wait, what is it really?

Some people are leaving piles of chocolate or something sitting around. Thanks, Esmerelda.

"sounds like" "they will"

Heather spotted this one in Florida. Maybe this is a conversation, about shoes. That you are supposed to read.

don't panic?

Submitter Cassie suggests that "relax" is a euphemism for something else...

fire exit code

So, this is obviously about where you have to go to get pot. Or escape a fire. Thanks, Rob.

so wait, who works there?

My friend Erin spotted this farm in her neighborhood. I guess they are stretching the definition a bit...

outlawed near carolina?

I guess these fireworks are going for plausible deniability. Thanks, Drew.

as some people call them

Where do you want to go this weekend honey? Hot springs or "the hot springs"? I think the answer is clear. Thanks Scott!

how "exciting"

Submitter Russ suggests this is actually a video of their employees playing soccer.

elbowy?

I guess this thing isn't as handy as you'd suspect. Thanks, Michelle.

OR IS IT

I don't know, it sure looks like a step to me... Thanks, Daniel.

"new" and "fresh" eh?

I guess the point of drying fruit is that it lasts longer... Thanks, Caitlin.

Adults can read it

Allen writes, "I was expecting to find tequila and pickled eggs on the kids menu. No such luck."

orly?

This place, it has some kind of, um, conditioning. For something. Maybe. Is this a quote in a quote somehow? Thanks, Lindsey.

really it's an emu

I don't know what kind of fake bird you are supposed to get on, but there you go... Thanks, David.

oh, those guys

Is that, like, midgets? Thanks, Gabriel.

heh heh

Nothing about this sign makes sense and I love it. Thanks, Daniel.

they actually do not want to be asked

nobody wants to be asked for liquor REALLY. Thanks, Ali.

fake food, mmm

Joyce explains:
this is the box of the meal I ate tonight, 'Knorr Wereldgerechten'.
It's in Dutch. Translation:

Contents of this box:
1 bag of 'rice'
1 bag of 'dressing'
1 bag of 'sauce'

"18"

You must deliver a pretend age to use the massage chairs. I can't decide if I want to go older or younger. Thanks, Matt.

not so yummy

I guess the food is only ok. Thanks, hopita.

you know, "those things"

Fake meats, kids. It leads to problems. Thanks, Bill.

maybe look it up on "myface"

Nick saw this on a music camp newsletter. I guess they are using this fancy new technology called "facebook" or something...

bill "changer"

I'm guessing the person who added these quotation marks thinks it's more of a bill eater. Thanks, John.

ok, I'll write that

So I guess if you're a visitor, you have to write "after 9:00 pm." Thanks, Jay.

nickname? slogan?

Ok, if "the friendly church" is really their nickname, then that's awesome. Thanks, GP.

no more bacon-like product

John spotted this at subway. As a former sandwich artist, I will admit that the refrigerated then nuked stuff they have there is a sad distance from actual, pan-fried bacon.

subtle

That's right, kids. Three signs, two messages, different words in quotation marks on each one. Thanks Elizabeth!

made in the store

Whenever I see things that are "homemade" i like to imagine somebody brings them from home. Thanks, Andy.

there may be a "little" power

I wonder what will REALLY happen with the power. Thanks, submitter.

fake cookies

Submitter Ashley agrees, nothing diet and lemon is really a cookie. I'm with her.

"finally"

I guess we were not in fact waiting for this. Thanks, Christina.

Use "cash"

I don't know how they really want you to pay or when. Maybe it's just to throw you off. Thanks, John.

your pretend child

Maybe this is about those practice babies they give high school kids. Thanks, Daniel.

"closed" eh?

Even Canadians aren't sure that Canada Day is a real holiday. Thanks, Jayson.

don't feed the animatronics

I guess there are some fake birds that clearly do not need bread thrown at them. Thanks Ashley.

oh really

Sounds like the answer to a question nobody asked. Thanks, Randy.

more fake polite

Somebody seems to be really sarcastic about recycling. Thanks, submitter.

a good review

This Powells reviewer totally gets my book. You might enjoy reading the review also.

steak from somewhere

I don't think Dan was in Philly when he saw this. So I guess that would make it, like, Madison Steak....

trips to "vegas" eh?

I don't even know what a fake version of vegas would be. But I think it would make Baudrillard's head explode. Maybe they only get you to the desert nearby. Thanks, Eamon.

holes in the ground

I wonder what they really have back there. Bear traps? Outhouses? Thanks, Paul.

go pretend to vote

This was in Ai's neighbor's yard. I guess in this county, votes don't count?

if you call that a bagel

I guess the writer of this sign is skeptical about what qualifies as a bagel. Thanks, Sean.

not too sorry

Yet another example of insincere politeness. Sorry indeed. Thanks, Kevin.

like, plato's forms?

I guess these things aspire to be real forms for real bureaucrats. Thanks, Sophie.

or flirting

you know, for when you need to give that attractive person "mouth to mouth." Thanks, Mike.

yeah, I read those

I assume that a good number of my readers here were, like me, bookish children in the '90s. And those of you who identify as female may have, like me, read every repetitive Babysitters Club Book you could get your hands on. Well, let me tell you about this excellent, terrible fashion-focused blog my friend just shared with me: What Claudia Wore.

I feel that all my adolescent mistakes can be blamed on trying to look like these characters (though I think I identified most with Mallory).

I guess I want it

I guess this guy is actually totally sick of being a scrap metal dealer, but needs the money anyway. Thanks, Mia.