it's not that special

I just returned from visiting my family in Holland, MI. While I was there we ate at a hotdog place called G&L's and I took a picture of their menu, which features a Greek Chili Dog "Special." Yeah, sometimes I actually take pictures for this blog myself

"mandatory" means you only have to go if you need brownie points

A reader who prefers to remain anonymous sent this email

to me recently:

the secretary at my work is always sending out memos like the following:

Attached is the list of "Mandatory" Staff Meetings for the the rest of the 2007 Calendar Year. . .

Please notice the times and make sure you will be able to attend "one" of the appropriate meetings. If their is a conflict with your schedule you need to discuss with your appropriate manager. Make sure you are "prompt" to the appropriate start time of these meetings.

Please print a copy for yourselves and I will post a copy of this schedule in the appropriate copy/storage rooms.
Thank you.

Clearly the best part is that you need to attend "one" of these meetings. Because many of us will sneakily attend more than one...

it would be better if it was not a store or not in town

Another one from Jon in Minneapolis. This is another one that falls in that grey area for slogans. Maybe the quotation marks are pointing to the irony of calling the store both big and little?
Incidentally, I don't know what is meant by "ethnic market" - does it cater to a particular ethnicity? Several? Are some markets not ethnic?

everything in vegas is "original"

Scott sends me this one, which he says is on a famous street. However, I have never seen it, so it's new to me. He points out, and I agree, that being Vegas, it's probably actually an accurate use.

that "celebration" sounds awesome

Jon sends me this one from Minneapolis. pretty great.

"credit cards," if you know what I mean

New reader Ashley already played this game with her friend and sent me this recent picture. I would read these quotation marks as a willingness to break the rules. Then again, I think we can all learn from Paul's experience about those sorts of assumptions.

mmmm, "real" beef.....

Reader Bernerd sends me this message:

I saw the sign for "Real" Beef Jerky and thought of you. I was on I35 from Austin to Dallas and couldn't catch a picture, but they've got a website.

http://www.robertsonhams.com/

thank goodness for the internet.

"foreign" language

Jim sends me this one from LA. I am trying to decide whether or not I am ok with using quotes to indicate that you are using a different language. Traditionally, this is denoted by italics. So I guess if you want to be safe from real liability, go somewhere else. For "liability" - this is your place. Only $350/year.

"last warning"

this sign which is also appropriate for our passive aggressive notes friends was submitted by romanlily. It's pretty fantastic, including some closing quotes with no openings. Seriously.

this story features professional "courtesy" indeed

This story comes from reader Lizzy:

Until recently, I worked at a very yuppy gelato shop in a very yuppy city which shall remain nameless. Somehow I got on the owner's bad side, and he no longer schedules me to work. He never actually told me I was fired, though (maybe I should submit this to passive agressive notes too). So the other day I went in to get my fix of free gelato the other day (it's still tasty, even though I hate the owner), and the employee who was working didn't charge me, as usual.
When I got home I had this email waiting for me. I think the parentheses piss me off even more than the quotation marks, because it suggests that I'm incapable of knowing how many two really is or remembering what day it was yesterday. Ugh.

Hi Lizzy,
Normally "free" gelato is reserved for people on the working schedule. The two (2) pints yesterday (Monday) were given at no charge as a "courtesy". If you order gelato in the future you will be charged.
-Curtis