Friday, August 31, 2012

tents for whoever

I mean, not YOU obviously. You don't need a tent. Thanks, Becki.

"free" candy

It'll only cost you.... YOUR SOUL! Thanks Lily.

Thursday, August 30, 2012


So I guess these are questionably qualified parents, and you can't let your kids play with a toy atm for some reason. Thanks Ken.

only applies during breakfast

If you happen to look at this sign after 10 am, "now" does not apply. Thanks, Mai-Trang.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

"No Bike Riding"

Submitter Debbie suggests she is supposed to imagine someone telling her not to ride bike, I think it's a big wink to the bike-riders. We'll never know the truth.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Monday, August 27, 2012

fishing "prohibited"

I'll let submitter Brendan explain why this one might be acceptable:
The shoulder on this bridge, Mile 49 of Delaware Route 1 in Frederica, is only about 2 feet wide and the posted speed limit is 55 MPH. If I had to walk across this bridge, I would shuffle - no quotes about it.

We sell "boxes"

They sell some box-like items here. Thanks Kristinn.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

does not "record"

Like submitter Matthew, I wonder what this tape recorder really does (or doesn't do).

Friday, August 24, 2012

"The Parking Choice"

Ok, I understand that some of you think slogans are ok, but this slogan simultaneously makes no sense and perfect sense, so maybe that's what the quotation marks are meant to signify. Thanks Eli.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

"Bleeding" students

BlueSky saw this at the school where s/he works. I don't know what body fluids they want to include in "bleeding" nor do I want to think about it anymore.

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Uh.... robot cage.

Obviously, a salutation asking for my attention is not necessary when your sign includes the words ROBOT CAGE. What is a robot cage? Why are they sarcastic about thanking you? ROBOTS! Thanks Henry.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

"worship" at the "gazebo"

I guess you may or may not be invited to some event at some place. Thanks T.

schrodinger's smoking area

I guess some smokers can go ahead and smoke in this area. Thanks Mcmuffin.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Some lady's salon

Do hairstylists have the equivalent of a pen name or stage name? Is "Colleen" somebody's, uh, scissors name? Thanks CFE.

So-called escalator

I am now really curious what kind of pseudo-escalator they have going. I'd follow the advice and hold the handrail, that's for sure. Thanks Jenny.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

sooo.... meth lab?

Here's where they keep their "things" for doing "science." You get the picture. Thanks Ty.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

"award winning" "guinness"

I guess they have some off-brand stout that has only won bogus awards. Thanks Ryan.

Friday, August 17, 2012

most bikes welcome

I guess there are a few bikes we don't allow, but the rest of you are cool. Thanks Rebecca.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Park Code

So I can only assume these codes are about something happening in the "park." Thanks Shannon.

Bread Waste "only"

I guess some bread-like waste could make its way into this basket also. Thanks Brian.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

alleged ribs

Here is a place that has some fake foods. Thanks Kate.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Right on.

I can't find a way to read this where it makes sense. Not even sideways "blog" sense! So that's impressive. Thanks Dieter.

Or do use it?

This is the special door for people who take punctuation literally I guess. Thanks Dieter.

Monday, August 13, 2012

It's "over"

I guess with this machine, your ironing is just beginning. Thanks Cathy and Cinnamon.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Quotation Marks Approved: street vender edition

Julian and Nina spotted this on a NYC street vendor, and I think given the context and the price, "designer" jewelry is exactly what this vendor has. Keep on keeping on with those quotation marks, buddy.

EDITED: a reader made me the excellent stamp of approval I have now applied to this image. Thanks, friend!

"Paper" items only

I guess anything relatively papery works here? Thanks Steven.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

"select" consignment

This image led me to some deep thinking about what the word "select" even means. Do they mean that they don't make selections about what they sell? Or sometimes they do? I'm so confused. Thanks Erin.

Friday, August 10, 2012

fake polite plastic bag

This bag is both sort of rude and may or may not be recycled. Thanks Stephen!

Second place, maybe

Listen, Mike, you have a pretty good nickname, and imma let you finish, but "City" Block has the greatest real estate nickname of ALL TIME. Thanks Jessica.

Thursday, August 09, 2012

taxi "service"

I guess after experiencing the "service" you might feel inclined to use quotation marks also. Thanks Sam.

This "Pantry" is an Untenable Situation

Margo found this at her work. I assume what I would call a kitchen or kitchenette a pantry is a regionalism, perhaps the sign-writer is from somewhere else and uses it while holding his or her nose.

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

"All day" seafood specials

Don't try asking for these "all day" specials at any time of the day. They don't mean it literally. Thanks Autumn.

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

make "lemon-aid"

Submitter Nona explains, "I infer that 'lemon-aid' is made of yellow flowers while lemonade is the correct spelling they couldn't remember."

"quality education"

This letter came from Jack's son's high school principal. Apparently these kids get a borderline education in an indifferent environment.

Monday, August 06, 2012

"inside" the boundary

Yeah, they really "mean" these "instructions." Thanks Cyndi.

As the kids are calling it

Submitter Joseph suggests we should really use the more technical term, "dinosaur juice."

Sunday, August 05, 2012

not "through"

So, um, through is ok but there is some other preposition you should avoid. Thanks Catherine.

"free" class

Maybe by "free" they mean "included in the price of your spine surgery." Thanks Elizabeth.

Saturday, August 04, 2012

"clean plate"

Hey, if it came out of our dishroom, that's "clean" ok? I don't care if it has stuff on it. Thanks Joy.

"partnership reception"

I guess the business partners in this "reception" don't count as real partners? The rainbow people make it more confusing. Thanks Vincent.

Friday, August 03, 2012

save through the "back door"

The submitter who emailed this as Lone Locust of the Apocalypse spotted this on the homepage and also jokes, "I wonder if this investment strategy involves paying out the ass."

Well, so it is

Ok, I know some of you believe that putting a slogan in quotation marks is perfectly acceptable. I maintain that it is not, strictly speaking, NECESSARY. In this case, I had to post this because it's the most gloriously un-debateable slogan I've ever seen. Paralegal is, indeed, "a career in law." Thanks Jessie.

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Special "fish"

Well, it really is special, but I wonder what that "fish" is really made out of? I'm hoping it's tofu and not, like, algae. Thanks Ben.

Alleged low prices

That's right kids, an asterisk AND quotation marks, *free and "low prices" this junk is going to cost you. Thanks Jonathan.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012

over the "edge"

You know, usually in menus there seems some kind of logic to the words in quotation marks. In this case, I have no idea what "EDGE" they are referring to, or if "you" could actually do it. Thanks Alice.