definitely short bus special

The folks from this website sent me photos of this mug. Given my childhood memories of school bus drivers.... maybe.

radioactive cakes?

Christopher saw this in a UK department store (not an "airport"). I don't understand why one would quarantine cakes, but more importantly, they plan to never tell you when the quarantine is over.

"ballet" shoes

So, wait, you need shoes that aren't slippers or ballet shoes, but kind of look like them. This is complicated. Thanks, smoochiefrog.

more punctuation in the news

ok, this article is about apostrophes and I am resolutely a quotation mark blog, but nonetheless, it was fascinating and hilarious and you guys might want to read it.

"new pool"

What really perplexes me about this one is that it seems that it's the WATER that is new, not the pool. And they would make more sense around the euphemism "go". Thanks, Heather.

depends on your definition of constant

Justin's grandpa's neighbor put up this one on a shed. My guess: you could park there between the hours of 3 and 4 am and nobody would be the wiser.

"dressings"

I like to believe that if you ask for lite ranch "dressing" you get a very small country-western themed outfit. Thanks, Caleb.

further discussion

I have been alerted from several quarters to the existence of this article, which references our fine blog. I have been sent a copy of this woman's book, actually, which looks fun but I have not yet read it. She seems rather reasonable.

checker-like objects

Melissa was at a flea market where someone was selling this bag of "checkers" along with a homemade checker board. I don't know what is really in there. "Love"?

around now

just throw all those leftovers in that pot. Yeah, with the drinks too. We'll call it "soup". Great business plan! thanks, Kevin.

kind of sorry ish.

Submitter Joseph and I agree, the maker of this sign is clearly not sorry.

you "dry off"

This is from Cara's gym. In her email to me, Cara confessed to storing her towel in a locker, beyond this sign, so she is happy for quotation mark borne ambiguity. I'm wondering what exactly they DO expect you to do before entering the locker area?

"way" too excited

I want to know what is really going on in the castle and the boats, personally. But, really, every single item on this sign is ripe for humor. Thanks, Simon.

rather believable

rather believable
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

T-shirts for $5 - who-du-thunk?

used, "God Willing"

Katie writes, "Still haven't figured out which part of 'Buy Sell Trade' -- if any -- that 'God Willing' applies to." Me neither.

"buddy" poppy

Claudia got this at a fair in Alabama. Now, I know what Poppies mean in Canada on Armistice Day, and I know what they mean in the War on Drugs, but now they have something to do with a relationship like Ken's and Allan's?

"that's not all!"

They may or may not have all these models. Or they think linking words like "also" aren't real words. Thanks, Ben.

"kids"

What kids do in restaurants, as we all know, is a variety of things that are not eating. Complain, make jokes, push their food around... Thanks, Dan.

"free" "beer" "fridays"

Becky spotted this one in Des Moines, IA. Apparently most days of the week you can pay for a beverage that might be generously called beer.

"fake blood"

Alex sent this to me close to Halloween time (I know, I'm three months behind, I'm sorry). If you enlarge you will see that the directions specify "fake blood" will come out of the capsule. Alex and I are both relieved that it doesn't say "fake" blood. Maybe they are accounting for the possibility that you will accidentally bite your own tongue and your real blood will get mixed in...

if you know what I mean...

Christy spotted this one at Denver Airport. I guess there is more than one kind of "purchase" you can make to grab a smoke here...

you're real "winners"

It seems that Philadelphia residents are not so comfortable with victory. Thanks, Lou.

it's "alive"

Alan made this screenshot from a local news outlet. Evidently it will be live on tape!

pretend collaboration preferred

Jeremy writes, "My wife snapped this one outside the computer lab at the school where she teaches ... I guess you're only welcome if you're not a team player."

it's "my" life?

Thanks, Cherie, for the image and title. I guess they really mean your gardener's life, which is sort of yours since you pay him.

"served", as it were

I guess the second time, it wasn't actually a service. Thanks, Alisha.

you know, "quotes"

For example, "outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend, inside of a dog, it's too dark to read" - Groucho Marx. And that one was FREE. Thanks, Van.

you can pay your Ponzi scheme in these though

Allison writes, "Now I know why these candles were just $1.99. Between this lost investment and the losses my retirement plan has suffered in the market, I don't know what I'll do. Man, what a bummer!"

water with floaties

Through the power of marketing, we got people to think those colors stand for vitamins, and not just random crap. Thanks, Winona.

just any cafe carousel

This here is an impostor for the actual cafe carousel. Thanks, Greg.

more frenemies

those people are only your friends because they want you to buy their old clothes. If you need a ride to the airport, they are NOWHERE. Thanks, Cheryl.

"summer camps"

Karen spotted this in Ontario. She points out that perhaps since this was up at the end of October, they really meant an event with a summer-camp-like atmosphere.

spit-polished

If you look closely, you can see that these Chitlins are "super clean". Knowing what Chitlins are, I'm not sure they ever qualify as REALLY clean. Thanks Karl.

"dont" "remove"

Jackie saw this on a table in her new place. I suppose it could double as a "desk" or "bed" if it really had to...

locally

also nation-tall? There are actually a lot of things silly about this sign, my favorite being the moral imperitive scrawled in inkpen. Thanks, Liz.

"onion rings"

Click to enlarge this picture, sent in by Dubi. I assume that there is some onion-like foodstuff that may or may not be fried in rings available from this truck. (also, this was taken on the University of Toronto St George campus, which explains the existence of poutine.)

it moves around

Stacy saw this in Minneapolis. It strikes me as creepy - the exit is RIGHT "BEHIND YOU!!!!"

except for the webcam

Oh, you don't think that giant window is very private? I guess we have different definitions. Thanks, Julie.

we just call it crappy

Ariel sent this one in. I guess "historic diner" is just its nickname.

gun sale

gun sale
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

Guns are expensive - but these are on "sale".

I hope it doesn't mean - buy any gun with matching ammunition, and we'll give you whatever you want.

see who can camp the fastest

Kristin explains, "We live unfortunately close to a NASCAR track, and this guy lets the fans that swarm into town "camp" in his front yard. So I can at least confirm that they were in town for the "race" (not being a race fan, it might not have been much of a "race", I didn't check) but I certainly wouldn't want a lot of "camping" going on in front of MY house..."

they are "fun"

Michael spotted this one. Some things are not toys. Like weapons. And... jewelry.

they're very "close"

At first I thought this was a contemporary fake, but as far as I can tell this is a real mid-60s toy. He's Ken's "Buddy". Right. Thanks, Mindy.

as our great mayor says

Courtney saw this in the Court House where she had jury duty and writes, "It’s on the wall in the elevator bay. The thing I like best about it are that there are no faucets or fountains of any kind nearby, so I interpret this as an anonymous quotation."

it's actually a very scary hamster

Josh saw this in Brooklyn. I guess there are any number of animals for you to be wary of. More fake dogs from the past. (also, when searching for these, found a truly disturbing number of posts about hot dogs.)

short bus special?

Damon saw this one at Hobby Lobby. Audience participation: what is inside the card?

most students

Hillary spotted this one at Arkansas State. I agree with her that the best part is "excellent advising". I think we have all experienced same at other institutions.

In other news, this blog seems to have gotten on the front page of Digg, so sweet, and hello visitors. Please come back on other days too.

wait, what kind of "bags"?

I wish that Laurie had also depicted the "bags" to which this refers. I am disappointed that the scratched out portion also says bags, but it's strange because I'm not sure what the error is. That kind of makes it more awesome.

double dog dare you

"double dog" dare you
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

Tony Packo's in Toledo, Ohio - made famous by Max Klinger on M*A*S*H is a fantastic place to grab a unique take on the hot dog, chili and potato salad.

The menu - much to my chagrin features a "DOUBLE DOG" - in all honesty I have to confess that in truth, the quotes here kinda work. You see, the regular dog is a tube-steak cut length-wise and half of it placed on a bun and served to you. The "Double Dog" is a whole sausage.

I think Tony has been reading our blog and waiting for this day just so he could say - "ah haa!"

Deals

Deal
Originally uploaded by mirthmobile

40% off!
$12.99!
2 bibs and a onesie for $23.99

These are "THE DEALS" - and don't you want to know how to get them?

family "run"

Craig saw this at an LA dry cleaner. Clearly they are trying to explain that they don't actually run around with all that hot ironing equipment and abrasive chemicals, that would just be dangerous.