now "smoking"

Sarah saw this in Louisville, where she notes that smoking inside bars is perfectly acceptable. Perhaps miller lites are in some dry ice out there?

"we" will totally do it

Presumably someone else will help you find pet accomodations. Thanks, Aaron.

"dirty"

Those mugs are totally easy. And they make dirty jokes left and right. Thanks, Ariel.

some "reward"

Sarah spotted this one in Oregon. Some person who goes by "mom" used to make you food, and now even when you haven't done anything, you can eat it as a "reward". Sounds awesome or pathetic.

unnecessary indeed

Some day, when I have my own house, I am totally getting one of these. Thanks, Vince.

"Yucca"

Just to be clear, on these shot glasses are not actual desert plants, but depictions thereof. Or depictions approximating said plants. Thanks, Charles.

it was always approximate

Emily spotted this one at a bus depot. In my experience with busses, they rarely leave at exactly the time it says. Unless you are late. So maybe that explains it, but they won't be not leaving then anymore.

right this way

Right this way, grown-ups, I have something back here that will make you "thin" and "fit." It's called hard labor cackle cackle cackle... Thanks, Daniel.

4 shizzle

I don't even know what to say about this thing that Marie sent me. I'm not sure what it would mean without the quotation marks, but I'm fairly certain that it means a softened version of that now. Or something.

it's an "investment"

With the recent mess with mortgages and stuff, I'm not sure if this is funny or telling. Thanks, Ariana.

"found"

I don't know what this is a euphemism for. Maybe somebody "found" it in somebody's pocket? Thanks, Pete.

really?

I don't know what-all you can get in this parking lot, but I think I'd like to stay ignorant. Thanks, Ann.

come on, try it

Sure, it's for "Fire Dept. Use Only" but it is SO FUN. Thanks, Matt.

well, here-ish

Not "here" on this sign, we have this whole lab, see? behind this door there's more! Thanks, Greg.

oo, farce day!

You know how sometimes when it's holy week and you go to church a lot of times instead of just on sunday and sometimes you get off work for observance, so good friday feels like a sunday so your week is like thursday sunday saturday sunday? This travel agency is open on those kinds of days. Thanks, Rob in Brisbane.

"knock"

This sign is so sarcastic, I'm not even sure what it really means anymore. Thanks Adam!

you know the type

Yeah. I'm totally a "vegan". I don't eat any animal products except cheese, steak, cream cheese, shrimp, chicken.... Thanks Chris.

aren't we all?

Alex spotted this one. I like the way this sign unintentionally comments on the ways we pretend to have a closer relationship with others than we generally do in times of emergency.

relatedly

This place seems to have bud light available. Thanks, Justin.

"drinks"

Adam writes, "saw this at a new pizza shop in town. they asked if i wanted a drink with my pizza and i respectfully - and fearfully - declined."

it's been here a while

yeah, man, these ostentatious muscle cars. They just fly off the lot. You'll want to jump on this in a hurry because it totally hasn't been sitting here for months.... Thanks, Sav.

we "locked" it

India spotted this in London. I suspect this is so the shop owner can tell insurance they had "no idea" how they got robbed?

"real seafood"

You know, I don't mind immitation crab. I don't know about any other kinds of "real" seafood they've got though... Thanks, Miranda.

I love that song

That door just has hurt feelings, you know? Thanks, Kevin.

as somebody once said

Ian sent me this one. I guess some uncredited authority has told us to "throw them in the recycle bin!" once. Classic quote, man.

tripudio est fervens

Just to be clear, this dance is not from ancient Rome. Thanks, quotation marks and goofy font. Also, thanks Bill.

days and days care?

I don't know what goes on inside Miss Debbie's. Does she have a gingerbread house out back? Thanks, Nancy.

well, maybe you can eat it

Well, I mean, if you chew on it long enough, you could technically swallow it. Thanks, Bill.

proud-ish

These cops kind of serve with really more of a smugness. Thanks, James and Kelly.

"puppies"

I'm imagining some iguanas in Dolce and Gabana cockapoo costumes. Thanks, Brittany.

used?

Andrea found this at an army surplus store. Maybe it's only had LIVE bodies in it. So it's technically unused?

"apartment"

I don't know what this "apartment" looks like (closet under the stairs?). Thanks, Eric.

SWF seeks... uh...

Mallory spotted this one at U Penn. You aren't allowed to flush personal ads here, no matter how much they belong in the toilet.

"food" stamps

Someone here may also accept postage stamps. Just saying. Or stamp's. Thanks, Nikolai.

"serves" you right?

Mark took this picture. I don't know what kind of "service" they offer here, but it looks to be, erm, clean fun.

stolen or sexy?

James saw this at his GMAT testing facility. The really perplexing thing is what is different during those hours?

ahem

Daniel spotted this in a strip club bathroom. I'm not sure what exactly they will do with your drugs, but I like that "removed" has quotation marks like it's some kind of slang, but we all know what 86'd means.

you know, a "life"

I mean, I think your life is pretty boring, but you still have it I guess. Thanks, SpitFire.

beefy

so yesterday there was "milk," today there's "beef". I'm starting to wonder about the nation's cows. Thanks, Ryan.

"wonton soup"

mmmm, fake foods. Those are the yummiest. I wonder what's really in the soup? Thanks, Ethan.

that will be one pound of flesh please

Is it just me or does that sign look like it says the bill must be paid in "Gash"? I think they plan to mow the lawn, if you know what I mean. Thanks, Ben.

made by "americans"

American ROBOTS we mean! Thanks, David.

"special" pizza

I've had fresh basil on pizza before, that was pretty good. Maybe "special" pot pizza would be good too. Thanks, Izzi.

from "cows"

Submitter John writes, "I can't believe I actually poured "milk" in my coffee."

depends how long it's been sitting there

Neil found this at a New Jersey diner, where they apparently serve their coffee lukewarm.

"bananas"

heh heh. "bananas." lets get some with NUTS. Thanks Tim, who saw this in South Bend.

some kind of "code"

I think there is an intricate code at work here. Or there are some dogs slacking off near a window, and they would like you to not chat so loudly. Thanks, Matt.

we're real "sorry"

Kate spotted this in Hampton Hill, England. I can tell that these folks are real "sad" to not have to work this weekend. They'll be crying the whole time they are at the beach.

if that IS a real country

Submitter Erin spotted this in Niagara-on-the-lake Ontario. Perhaps the flags were made right on the border.

mmmmmm "tomato juice"

Alan suggests this "tomato juice" might be garlic free and fortified with iron, if you know what I mean. And I mean it's for vampires.