and we mean that metaphorically

You know, "revolving doors" as in people get hired and fired a lot here or something... Thanks, Matt.

as you weirdos call it

I guess this place isn't really a sushi bar, but you can pretend it is. Thanks, Grant.

wipe your something

I don't know what "feet" is a euphemism for here, but wipe it. Thanks, r.

a lot of days, ok

This place is open a mysterious number of days. Thanks, Nathan.

I doubt it

Something about these quotation marks makes me think there were florists before this guy was born.... Thanks, John.

classless

I guess this software has something to do with the world, but not with taking classes. Or being classy. Or something. Thanks, Matt.

allegedly incredible savings

oh man, an "exclusive" "inside track membership"? How could I not be satisfied. Thanks, Candice.

I see how it works

Ben spotted this IN THAILAND which makes it more awesome. And confusing. This must be where you can get American Thai.

good slogan

My fiance Justin sent me this one. You may have to click to embiggen the photo, but the stapler has printed on it "open away from face." Words to live by. Apparently spoken by someone else.

or 1984?

There seems to be some doubt about what year this motorcycle show takes place in. I guess if it's not there, it's not really in 2010.

looks like fudge, tastes like fudge...

I guess that dude in there is a brownie. Thanks, Jim.

again and again and again and again. Ok, just one time.

Jessica in Germany helpfully translates this sign she spotted there:

The sign says:
"again"
NOW
"again"
50%
"again"
OFF EVERYTHING
"again"

I'm not sure how many times this sale has happened. And neither, apparently, is the sign writer.

mystery punctuation

My best guess on this one: someone decided that "world's best" was definitely dubious, cream puffiness, only half so. Thanks, Wendy.

you know, estimate

Brian spotted this at a new TGI Friday's in Kandahar Airfield, Afghanistan. Funny things: 1) there is a TGI Friday's in Kandahar. 2) you are not expected to count people there, as long as some people are willing to stand or sit on laps.

"again"

Someone claims this is not our first beef rib shortage. But I disagree. Snarkily. Thanks, Colin.

extra "special"

So, is "special milk" milk that has turned? Thanks, Michael.

relatively low

People who are used to spending a lot of money on the internet consider these rates "low." Thanks, Jo Ann.

sad excuse for a bus

If I don't want you crossing in front of something, it is hereby a "bus." Thanks, Charlie.

as it were

I want to make a joke about confused elderly people here, but it's just making me sad. Thanks, Alice.

none of your pretend payments

Chet spotted this at the DMV. I guess they won't take any of your pretend plastic money.

oh, you need "payment"

Mike spotted this in Ocean City, MD. He did not specify what payment was acceptable.

wearing a robe really

Ewan and boyfriend (pictured) saw this in Fife, Scotland. It is full of fun but I agree with them that the "dressed" crab is the most intriguing. I wonder if it's real "seafood" or not?

you really "have to"

I guess this place doesn't have hand-washing accountability. Thanks, Jonathan.

well, if you're handing them out

Some waffle house cashiers, it seems, would be happy to receive a $100 tip. Especially if it wasn't counterfeit. Thanks, Kristin.

thank somebody

Not only are these people ambivalent about who deserves credit for tacos, but also the identity of their breakfast potato dish. Thanks, John.

suuure

They will totally "give" you your "cash" at this Trader Joes. Uhuh. Thanks, Kelli.

Is that how it works?

Bryt sent me this and does not trust the shoe store it came from. Neither do I, now.

depending on how awesome you are

The fact that these quotation marks are in a different color makes me think it's part of somebody's diabolical plan. Thanks Lauren.

pretend to supervise

I guess being near your kids most of the time is a-ok. Thanks, Mike.

if you call that a life

This butter lettuce may be experiencing some quiet desperation. Thanks Ali.

sounds... gross.

Everybody knows that the only real floats have root beer. Thanks, Heidi.

piano toward sale?

I can't recall if I've posted this before, but I like the hedging on the preposition. Thanks, Joey.

wait, what?

The form of this monument and the quotation marks make me wonder if these women did in fact live. Thanks, Alex.

more secret codes

These are some words. One of them is in quotation marks. It is mildly possible that a burrito sandwich is a thing, but the periods make me think that is not what this means. Thanks, Carrie.

or, you know, this week

Beth explains that her girlfriend did not know what scare quotes was until after writing this gift tag, and then agreed that it belonged on this blog. Nothing like "love" to make you feel secure in your relationship.

sounds "fun"

Joshua explains, "This was actually taken in a 1^st grade classroom… or a sweat shop, who knows."

"door" as we call it

See, it's this new technology we're calling a "door" - you pull on it and it opens! thanks, David.

that's so much clearer

So, what about, like, teacup poodles? Thanks, Jessica.

as you like to call yourself

hey jerks on the bus, I will feign politeness if you throw your trash away. Thanks, Georgy.

actually public

This is a public park and you can go wherever you want, but there might be "private" activities taking place. Thanks, Cynan.

freeish

I guess once you take it you have to pay for it. Thanks, Marcus.

do not create a window

You kids with your "smoking" on the "flippity flop." Crazy! Thanks, Kate.

wait, what's a real emergency?

I guess life-threatening situations do not constitute a real emergency. Thanks, Kate.

ambiguous amount giftcard

I guess the surprise is for the person you give the gift card to when you say it has $100 on it and it doesn't? Or when it inevitably gets lost with $20 left (which the store is probably counting on). Thanks, Kris!

nice motto

Josh and his friend determined that this must be the town motto of Baden, Ontario.

we are too disgusted for sincerity

Rosa sent me this from a trip to Thailand. I'm more intrigued by the problem that led to the sign than the fake politeness of it, but nonetheless, it rocks.

you know, manually

There is actually a person watching via camera and pushing a button to shut them off. Thanks, Tom.

uh, what are those?

This place has some cheap... recreational drugs? Thanks Kathryn.

real "pleased"

Kevin writes, "I think this woman is embarrassed that she can't understand this ad."

we're so "happy" for you

One more example of wedding sincerity, sent by the "congratulated" Crystal.