appropriate

Julianne emailed me this in August but it is appropriate for today. A shack of creepy sundaes! what is this, fleet street?

like the kids are calling it

Those kids and their slang for different types of water. Crazy! Thanks, Ernesto.

"t" shirts

Gabby writes, "Apparently, they offer T-shirts, and maybe U, V, or W shirts too."

that's his nickname

Uh, guys. You are supposed to put the quotation marks around the quotation, not the author. Thanks, Ginger.

we do ok

This company cleans windows adequately. Thanks, Luke.

pretend discount

Aimee spotted this one. I guess they will pretend they are giving you a discount when you pay cash.

if you call that a taco

I mean, the things some people put together can hardly be called "tacos" anymore. Thanks, Brian.

free soup when you steal it

I guess any meal five finger discount also works to get a free soup. Thanks, anonymous submitter.

as it were

Oh man, there's nothing I like in the morning like imaginary eggs. Thanks, Mike.

more "special" things

I wonder if the "special" "drinks" and the "special" "cigarettes" from earlier today have the same ingredients. Thanks, Thane.

wink wink

This is obviously a secret code. Look how all the codewords are underlined and in bold? Thanks, George.

drugs and extortion... it works!

Something works, anyway. Something that is masquerading as prayer. Thanks, Jamye.

that's "special"

Detroit Julia writes, "It's like everything they're saying could be a lie... to get people to smoke their 'special' 'cigarettes'?"

"trash only"

In submitter Noel's words, these are "Missile silos masquerading as trash and recycling receptacles in my office building."

"america" as it were

Kate sent me this one. I guess I will be leaving fake America shortly.

"chest pain"

This sign gives hints for how to get attention in a hurry: alleged symptoms. Thanks, Diana.

so they say

Joe spotted this one in Florence. I think the lack of stuff makes the quotation marks rather appropriate.

"B" prize for adults

That's not just "any" prize... er... Thanks, Danielle.

good slogan

Sure it isn't. Thanks, Laura.

you know, figuratively

You know, you can't really watch your own head, your eyes are IN it. Thanks, Shawn.

free "tapa"

I guess they give you random food if you have a partly full pitcher of sangria-like liquid. Thanks, Jamin.

most of them, the big ones

M. A. spotted this at Dallas Ft Worth Airport. It's probably right though, I've totally made it through with an ounce or two of foundation in my makeup case.

maternity test anyone?

I guess somebody is skeptical about their real mother. Thanks, Melissa.

not the real God

some dude we nicknamed "God" loves you and we promise it's only a little creepy. Thanks, Aric.

easy!

Dump some soy sauce on white rice, and voila! "brown rice." Thanks, noon.

pants!

So, seriously, do I have to wear pants or not? Thanks, William.

top ten anyway

I mean, some say you're pretty great, America. I'm partial to the UK myself. Thanks, Daniel.

"today's soups"

I bet those are the soups every day. And they are totally going to upsell you on more than one baked good. Thanks, Jonathan.

nice fake humility

Anastasia spotted this in Marietta, GA. It is either a case of put-on humility (accentuated by the gated neighborhood) or a really terrible justice pun. Unflattering either way, I'd think.

except the favorites of course

These kinds of "rules" never apply to favorites. Thanks, Joe.

"topping"

I guess when that stuff slides off your ice cream, it's more like apple on-the-side-ing. Thanks, Gary.

well, I suppose

You know, I don't think of a bison burger as a type of sushi either. Not even "sushi" come to think of it. Thanks, Betsy.

right. ok.

You can tell from the quotation marks and goofy smiley face how serious they are about you using caution. Thanks, Richa.

alleged ice

I guess you might find diamonds on the parking lot. Good to know. Thanks, Brad.

sounds like a smooth "operator"

I wonder who really works there. Maybe they are like family in that they are underpaid. Thanks Jonathan.

well, I guess you can

The second set of quotation marks are semi-necessary, as it's something they claim to say. What "frozen inside out" is slang for, I am not sure. Thanks, Josh.

hey, "E", how's it hangin?

"E" is the nickname for this portable classroom. Whose real name is Elizabeth. Thanks, Rick.

the elusive level four

That's obviously a code name for it. You can get to it through a secret doorway in level one but you need the flying tail to do it. Thanks, Taber.

"none"

Ok, occasional overnight stopping, in some circumstances, is ok. Thanks, Ryan.

a "goldmine" eh?

Submitter DeLynn suggests "goldmine" is realtor-speak for "money pit."

"return"

Fake returning, in this case, seems acceptable. Thanks, Shannon.

participate in a sham election!

That sounds "special" to be sure. Thanks, Kristine.

sounds yummy

I don't know what you put in "Sangria." Maybe not wine? Thanks, Kerry.

sure it is

These guys are about to be punk'd in some manner. Thanks, Heather.

"enjoy" it

Jennifer spotted this in Ocean City, MD. I guess it's not very fun.

if you call that clothing

Jonathan spotted this in Jersey Shore, PA. I hope they sell books and hardware.

you can NEVER LEAVE

Great, a landlord who hassles you all the time and never lets you leave. Let's move in now! Thanks, Meredith.

mmm "sandwich"

Looks like you're getting some squirrel on a sad excuse for bread. Mmmm. Thanks, Matthew.

"try" it

mypointexactly sent me this. I am guessing "trying" something involves eating a lot of something you already like, or pretending to eat it to humor someone else.

Oh, I see "vandalism"

So, you have a talking scarecrow, which I can accept, but this dude is extremely sarcastic about dates and events. Thanks Jille, who spotted this at a crazy and awesome looking scarecrow village in Nova Scotia.