Wednesday, March 26, 2008

relational hierarchy


I've gotten similar cards to this (or maybe the same one) before. This one is from Liz, the other submitter who I forget her name got it form a mother-in-law. It must be like a passive aggressive way of saying, "just because you married my son doesn't make you REAL family."

25 comments:

aurorawest said...

Lol. I'm pretty sure I got that one last year. I think it was accompanied by a snarky comment by my m-i-l, though.

Jeff said...

oh, snap! Wow, what a way to say "thanks for tricking my son into marrying you, you bimbo!"

Bill said...

I read this as a card to your son and your son's transvestite partner.

Shelly! said...

That is awesome! It reminds me of so many in-law relationships I know....

Though I do like Jeff's way of saying it. Too bad Hallmark doesn't make cards like that!

Lizard Lady said...

Yay! That's my passive aggressive MIL, and my finger!

Christian said...

Except that the quotation marks are entirely necessary among those who choose to read the card in a non-snarky manner. A daughter-in-law is patently not a daughter, thus necessitating the marks in order to convey that the receiver is like a daughter to the parent-in-law. That so many seem to view the quotes as a put-down rather than a compliment seems to me a louder (and sadder) commentary on themselves than on the card company

lecroy said...

I think the QMs are appropriate. It is more personal than "Daughter in Law" would be. It is clarifying that this woman accepts you as her daughter even though she did not have you emerge from her birth canal. I would be thrilled if my mom would send this to me, not the much mor passive aggresive ones that clearly state she does not count her as daughter, but daughter BY law ONLY.

My first disagree.

Anonymous said...

we can always tell how "mom" is feeling about the relationship...when I get the ones to "daughter", I am in better stead than the ones to son and daughter-in-law, and way better than when they come to son and his wife!lol

Mary Ellen said...

Ha! My husband and I got that same card from my in-laws! It cracked me up, because I know my mother-in-law really DOES think of me as a daughter, but the quotes really give a different impression...

Beth said...

My husband's parents used to send him cards signed "Mom" and "Dad".

They had a loving relationship with him, he looks way too much like both of them for them not to claim him as their son, and there was nothing else going on at the time that would justify the QMs either seriously or as a joke.

My grandma used to buy her cards at garage sales and thrift shops. No problem with that, of course, except that she would then alter the card to fit the recipient. "Happy Birthday, Daughter" with parentheses and (grand) slipped in between the words...

Kinfolk are a hoot sometimes.

Jeff said...

Oh, snap, Christian! You sure told me!

Emily said...

It's for the son and the other son, who's a pre-op.

Andi said...

I used to get cards like this from my ex-boyfriend's mother. I always found them very sweet. I had never thought of them as snarky, but I appreciate the humor and the misinterpretation. Wah.

Mother Musings said...

HA!!! I think my Mom gave one like this to my husband except of course it said to my daughter and "son"!!
But she loves him, really.. really.

Karen said...

I'm the one who sent you the other card (Karen), and I'm pretty sure she thinks more along the lines Jeff was mentioning... :)

Ischi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ischi said...

To me it sounds as if the giver of the card is trying to "deal" with a trans-gender issue.

You know like the daughter formerly known as Jeff...

Sharon said...

I thought my mother and I had a great relationship until SHE got me this card! Hello, I AM your daughter -- no need for QMs!

est said...

I read this to be a card for your son and his partner that he hasn't married yet, but whom you already treat as your daughter.

Lomagirl said...

Definitely a pre-op thoughtful card. Although, I wonder if perhaps one of the givers refuses to acknowledge his son's pre op status and insists on son and the other giver is trying to be all hip and stuff so uses "daughter." So maybe the card is really for one person. Or maybe, it's post op, and someone is being catty. Hmmm.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! My mom used to get these all the time from my grandmother. It pissed her off endlessly.

Anonymous said...

But I forgot to add...

Hers said, "To my Wonderful Son and 'His Wife.'" Even more removed from the family, I guess.

Anonymous said...

I find this card really funny already.... but, why does it even exist? I have never heard of a mother giving a valentines card to her son and/or "daughter"

Aly K said...

I know this is an old posting, but my MiL sends us these cards for every holiday. At least my mom buys the ones that say the real relationship of in-law.

bionelly said...

"I find this card really funny already.... but, why does it even exist? I have never heard of a mother giving a valentines card to her son and/or 'daughter'"

My MIL does. Once she gave me lingerie, too, which I found kind of disturbing.